January6

The former chief executive of the United States implored his security not to check people for weapons saying, “I don’t fing care if they have weapons. They’re not here to hurt me. Take the fing mags away. Let my people in. They can march to the Capitol from here. Let...

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  • December 19, 2022

Since it’s probably unconstitutional to ban people from public office just because their missives look like scribblings from a fourth-grader’s Trapper Keeper, we may have to use the 14th Amendment to keep the traitorous, Trump-besotted frat boy Madison Cawthorn from seeking another term in Congress. The North Carolina congressman is suing to prevent his...

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  • February 23, 2022

Can anyone still say with a straight face that Donald Trump wasn’t trying to illegally overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 presidential election? Everything he did from Nov. 3, 2020 to Jan. 20, 2021 appeared singularly focused on shoving his epic loser stink back in the bottle—and his loserly obsession...

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  • February 4, 2022

Oh, Facebook. Sweet, sweet Facebook. Could you go back to the day when everyone annoyed me with their latest Bejeweled Blitz and Candy Crush scores instead of their breathless invitations to join in the thorough dismantling of Western civilization? You’d think a guy who wanted to nuke hurricanes, suggested injecting disinfectant...

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  • October 30, 2021

If U.S. democracy falls this century, it will likely be at the hands of a stubby-fingered sack of extra-piquant donkey farts who likely never bothered to read the Constitution he swore to uphold—and certainly didn’t understand it if he did bother. In other words, we’re at the stage in the...

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  • October 23, 2021

It goes without saying that most congressional Republicans know the Big Lie is just that—an absurd fabrication spun from the gossamer remains of their party’s perpetual pants pyre. Donald Trump was always going to lie about the 2020 election results. It’s what he does. He lied about the election he won, for God’s...

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  • October 13, 2021

Donald Trump has ruined a lot of lives. Usually that’s a tragedy. But sometimes it careens mighty close to comedy. Needless to say, those who hitched their wagon to Donald Trump were staring at a billowy, cornucopian rectum for what must have seemed an eternity. And now they’re in a ditch, with a...

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  • June 12, 2021

Virginia Foxx is a U.S. representative from North Carolina and not, as you might suspect from her name, a now-bitter original member of Emmet Otter’s Jug Band. Honestly, I’d never heard of her before. Yes, I’m a politics nerd, but apparently she’s been hiding her light under a bushel basket...

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  • May 19, 2021

Pat yourself on the back if you sized Donald Trump up in two minutes, like a normal person. You could have instead been Ethan Nordean, who wasted years of his life and squandered his precious freedom for a guy who’d likely feed him to alligators—or a marginally more reptilian creature...

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  • May 14, 2021