Oh, Facebook. Sweet, sweet Facebook. Could you go back to the day when everyone annoyed me with their latest Bejeweled Blitz and Candy Crush scores instead of their breathless invitations to join in the thorough dismantling of Western civilization?

You’d think a guy who wanted to nuke hurricanes, suggested injecting disinfectant to cure COVID-19, faced dozens of sexual assault allegations, and literally tried to end America would be a pariah, not a viable presidential candidate. But high treason isn’t what it used to be. These days, it’s not about inciting a riot and corruptly using the Department of Justice to overturn a free and fair election. Oh, no. According to Republicans, treason is trying to substantively improve people’s lives by shaking a few shekels loose from billionaires and saving the lives of people who are too fucking dumb to save themselves.

It scares me how quickly President Fifteen Flushes was able to shove Jan. 6 down the memory hole—at least in the barmy bean-brains of his troglodytic troop. And Facebook—which has banned Donald Trump from its platform for two years—seems far more concerned these days about hiding its crimes against humanity than fumigating its site against anti-American ex-presidents.

Tell me exactly why Facebook is allowing Trump to do this? Other than pure, noxious greed, that is.

While Trump is currently banned from Facebook for—erm, uh … Jesus Waffle-Noshing Christ, this can’t be right, can it?—attempting a coup against the legitimate government of the United States of America, he’s found a way around that ban, while he also skirts laws about using his current fundraising to fund a (likely) future presidential campaign.

The Washington Post:

[Trump’s] primary political action committee, Save America, has been spending more than $100,000 a week this month on Facebook ads, according to the company, many of which seek donations with deceptive claims about corruption in the last election and public support for the belief that “Trump is the true president.” 
Facebook allows the ads because Trump is not posting them personally through his suspended account and the ads do not speak in Trump’s “voice,” according to a company spokeswoman. The money raised can be used to finance his current political operation — his staff, his rallies, his travel — until he announces another campaign. At that point, he would have to start fresh with a new account, but with a significant advantage: advisers may rent back the updated list of donors that Save America has collected to give him a head start. And advisers say he could transfer the money to another outside group that buttresses his bid.

Oh, isn’t that cute? You’d think that at some point, on its way to making the planet safe for fascism again, Facebook would take time to meaningfully enforce its ban. Or failing that, they could at least replace the “cares” button with a “kick a Nazi in his unsightly, languorous balls” button.

I don’t know about you, but this feels a little like Sauron marshaling his forces as he desperately searched for the One Ring. Or, if you’re not a huge nerd like me, perhaps it feels more like a big, dumb asshole taking a giant radioactive shit on our democracy. 

The fundraising haul puts his political operation, which has so far reported giving little to other candidates or causes, among the largest in the country, dwarfing organizations set up to raise money nationwide. The National Republican Senatorial Committee declared less than $30 million in cash at the end of September and the National Republican Congressional Committee had $65 million in cash at the same point.

As The Post notes, Trump’s post-election-loss foray into politics is unusual, as is his continued fundraising effort (aka scam). The last losing president to make another run at the White House was Herbert Hoover, who, like Trump, also presided over a cratered economy. Now Pervert Hoover is trying to do him one better by riding his shitty economic record and treasonous ocher ass into a second, nonconsecutive term.

“What is different with Trump is the sheer amount of money raised and the often-misleading way he has raised that money,” Brendan Fischer, the director of federal reform at the Campaign Finance Legal Center, told The Post.

Gee, it would sure be nice if someone stopped him. Huh, Facebook?

Of course, if Facebook doesn’t want to bar Trump’s fundraising efforts, they could at least put the kibosh on his corrosive lies. They’re not doing that either, of course. In one series of ads cited by The Post, the Trump team claimed “53% believe Trump is the true president” and “56% believe the 2020 election was tainted.” As the paper noted, those numbers refer only to Republicans, and it remains an open question whether they're actually Americans anymore.

So it’s time to do better, Facebook. That should be pretty easy, as the bar could not possibly be any lower.

It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
Available for Amazon Prime