Just in case anyone was worried, the Perpetual Outrage Factory known as Fox News is functioning as expected during the devastating winter storm that has battered much of the country. Click here to Tweet this article It must be terribly difficult for Fox News to scrape up – or manufacture...
Ted Cruz
The GOP is no longer a serious political party. It’s a vaudeville show, and all they care about these days is performing. Not performing good deeds, mind you. Just performing. And the top clowns were all feeling their oats on Wednesday. Whether he’s concocting ad hoc reasons for flying to...
On Thursday, the House voted 424-8 to suspend normal trade relations with Russia in the wake of Vladimir Putin’s unprovoked war of aggression against Ukraine. Congress rarely achieves that kind of consensus on anything, unless the vote is for not telling Ted Cruz about the weekly after-work happy hour, but Ukraine’s plight has...
If there’s anything more pathetic than Ted Cruz being pusillanimous, it’s Ted Cruz trying to act tough. Lately he’s been supporting the D.C. trucker convoy—the shambolic caravan of dead-ender, pro-death troglodytes that suddenly seems as culturally relevant as C.W. McCall’s seminal 1975 hit “Convoy.” Of course, being Ted Cruz, he’s been nothing...
So now we know why Sen. Ted Cruz was able to mend fences with Donald Trump so soon after the ocher abomination suggested Ted’s dad may have been involved in the JFK assassination. Ted must have thought it was a really funny “joke” and nothing more. Fox News has forced...
Going backward benefits few; America has rid itself of a world of bustles, petticoats, and counting jellybeans in a jar. Ill-informed parents are invading school libraries, intimidating school boards, and physically carting off books to take back their country. America has devolved into a country where the slogan, ‘I want...
Oh, hey, Ted Cruz still wants to be president! Of course he does. The “breaking” part of this news is that he still seems to think it’s possible. Though, to be fair, Ted did snag a lot of primary votes in 2016—and that was before the beard. Imagine the mojo...
When one speaks of the far-right-left, the obvious target for progressives would be Democratic Senators Joe Manchin of West Virginia and Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona. Although they both are low-hanging fruit, the harvest is bountiful. Voices of the left, like comedic satirist Bill Maher, longtime Democratic strategist James Carville, and...
I wonder what happens this coming February; you know, Black History Month. Will the contingent of book banners and people who fear the delicate little psyches of white children will be permanently marred by black history prevail. Since the first enslaved Africans stepped out of the bowels of slave ships...
Republicans lined up to get their Fox News sound bites in on Tuesday, during a hearing on Attorney General Merrick Garland’s memorandum on protecting school board members against violence—the very kind of violence promised by the folks Donald Trump and Ted Cruz have been inciting with barely intelligible lies over...
With roughly a third of Americans who identify themselves as Republicans, the party bombards us with the term American People at every utterance. With almost 60% of the country fully vaccinated, Republicans say the American People have doubts. Yesterday, Mitch McConnell, in response to questions about the insurrection, said the...
It goes without saying that most congressional Republicans know the Big Lie is just that—an absurd fabrication spun from the gossamer remains of their party’s perpetual pants pyre. Donald Trump was always going to lie about the 2020 election results. It’s what he does. He lied about the election he won, for God’s...
You could say Ted Cruz is about as funny as a debilitating brain parasite, but that would be imprecise. He’s as funny as a brain parasite attempting to do prop comedy at 1 a.m on a Wednesday at a Sioux Falls Holiday Inn. In other words, much less funny than your workaday...
In a 5-4 Supreme Court decision supported by conservative Justice Antonin Scalia, Justice William Brennan wrote in part: [Gregory Lee] “Johnson was convicted for engaging in expressive conduct. The State’s interest in preventing breaches of the peace does not support his conviction because Johnson’s conduct did not threaten to disturb...
I don’t know about you, but I used to feel pretty on edge whenever Donald Trump left the country. As bad as it was having him here, seeing him take overseas trips felt a bit like that scene in The Silence of the Lambs where Lecter escapes from his cage...
Repost: Fordham Political Review. No one issue in politics today causes greater polarization than the issue of abortion. I remember sitting down with my mother in high school, nerves fluttering in my stomach as I asked her, “What do you think about abortion?” I was thinking about the fact that...
So this happened yesterday: Glenn Youngkin, a wealthy first-time candidate who walked a line between his party’s Trump-centric base and appeals to business interests, won the Republican nomination for governor of Virginia on Monday. He heads into a general election in one of only two states choosing their governors in...
Apparently, most congressional committees are as boring as Texas during a devastating winter storm, because Ted Cruz doesn’t want to stick around for any of them. He just wants to be caught on camera pretending to care. If you want to draw Cruz like a fly to your picnic, you don’t need...
Not prosecuting Trump for what seems to be incontrovertible evidence of his Stormy Daniels payoff seems to be small potatoes only if the big enchiladas are left on the plate. Yet the GQP thinks that they still need him, likely because there are no alternatives, what with Ted Cruz having dinner with...
Delusional previous guy thinks he’s still POTUS. And in Arizona the cyber-ninjas are looking for traces of bamboo in the ballots. Also, Trump got caught trying to sneak back into Twitter. “Free Speech has been taken away from the President of the United States because the Radical Left Lunatics are afraid...
In a Wall Street Journal op-ed, Ted Cruz admits he’s a corporate shill but like Matt Gaetz’s procurer, Joel Greenberg, prior crimes don’t count if you can get a pardon, even from the press. But hey Ted, confession is good for the soul because you don’t have to rely on the...
Just wanted to share this: Texas Senator Ted Cruz was not a fan of a Tuesday Daily Show segment and he let host Trevor Noah know it. The bit was about Congressional reapportionment due to population shifts in the U.S. Those shifts are causing New York to lose a U.S. House seat while Texas picks up...
Senator John Kennedy (R-LA) was born in the heart of the old Democratic south. He is a devout southerner, born in Mississippi, and attended college at both the University of Virginia and Vanderbilt in Tennessee. At age sixty-nine, I believe it is safe to say that the one-time southern Democrat,...
Ted Cruz has been accused of a lot of things: being the Zodiac Killer; being from Canada; being a churlish Sea Monkey that grew out of control in a secret Area 51 lab before escaping into the forest with a family-size bag of Bugles and a sixer of Zima; being the son of a...
The usual Cruz hypocrisy, the pot calling the kettle violent. Because the final term of Ted Cruz will feature more nonsense serving corporate energy interests among other contradictions. He’s flailing about today with the latest nominees for DoJ, among other fake outrage. It’s an old tactic, because Cruz loves stirring...
Obviously, I’m no fan of Pat Robertson, and it’s a rare occasion indeed when I agree with him. After all, he’s basically a workaday evangelical Nutter Butter, and evangelicals gave us the prank gift of Donald Trump. It was sort of like giving us all ugly Christmas sweaters as a...
Americans should listen to the rational Republicans willing to publicly lift the scales from their eyes, who say their brethren are cowardly. Current and former Republicans like the previous Republican National Committee Chair, Michael Steele, and former Rep. David Jolly have said over and over the current crop of GOPers...
Former House Speaker John Boehner has been on quite a roll lately as he plugs his book On the House: A Washington Memoir. In a clip from the audio version of his book, Boehner told Sen. Ted Cruz to go fuck himself, which, as Cruz’s former Princeton roommate Craig Mazin can...
Former House Speaker John Boehner’s new memoir is set to be released later this month, and if the excerpts that have trickled out so far are any indication, he aims to settle scores. Not so much with Democrats—though I have no doubt he’ll have some salty words for our ilk. No, in...
Ted Cruz continued his “Hey, look! I’m not in Cancun!” tour yesterday, traveling to the U.S.-Mexico border in search of a thatch of reeds that in no way made him look like a serial killer floating freshly harvested bodies down the river on jerry-rigged rafts comprised of peat bog residue and...
Forgive my fit of pique. Another salvo in the Dr. Seuss Wars comes just as I’d finished training my Seuss-sniffing German shepherds to find, identify, and eliminate all 12 extant copies of McElligot’s Pool. Meanwhile, my stormtroopers are conducting a thorough sweep of Little Free Libraries across the nation. Horton is about...
In September of 2013, Republicans attempted to curtail full funding of the Affordable Care Act but their efforts came to an absurd end. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) spent just over 21-hours regaling the public with a tale penned by Dr. Seuss, the wisdom of Ashton Kutcher, and the World Wrestling...
I’m not in a jovial mood today. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed … because my bed is still in America. If it straddled the U.S.-Canada border, I might have had a puncher’s chance—but no. I had to wake up here—in the land of the mask-free, gun-obsessed asshole....
What’s funnier than Mike Pence being sent to the doghouse after spending four-plus years as Donald Trump’s captive purse poodle? I honestly can’t think of anything—though if Ted Cruz falls down an open manhole while looking at My Little Pony furry porn on his phone, I may have to reassess. Months...
In just 50 days, President Joe Biden got our vaccine production and distribution system whipped into shape and signed a historic COVID-19 relief package to boost our economy and give a helping hand to millions of struggling Americans, but damn, what a snooze it’s been. No waking up and rushing to your phone...
There’s really only one Ted that’s applicable to an unconfirmed source trying to connect Greta Thunberg with the Unabomber and that’s Ted “Zodiac Killer” Cruz. Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg has mocked Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) after he criticized President Joe Biden‘s decision to rejoin the Paris climate agreement. “So happy that USA has finally...
What does it say about Republicans that the two biggest assholes in the multiverse were their No. 1 and No. 2 choice for president in 2016? Of course, as with the infinite regression of turtles in Hindu cosmology, it’s assholes all the way down for the GOP. Ted Cruz, the...
Ted Cruz is becoming even further unhinged, as if there will be an insanity defense for sedition. Because he actually thinks he’s funny, like a Soup Nazi taking the gas pipe: Ok. No gasoline for you. (That includes jet fuel.) And what do you think film is made of? https://t.co/rVwYt7C5Ol...
Likely there will some stunt somewhere today, perhaps not in DC. Hopefully there will be no casualties, but nothing will match the easing of mask mandates in Texas and Mississippi. Perhaps there’s a numerological formula for predicting the next stupid QAnon event. x Anti-Trump Republicans are facing punishment back home. But...
Well, actually, he’s a Badger, not a duck. I was born in Wisconsin and currently live in Oregon. Believe me, I know the difference. And I can assure you, this guy is one enormous Johnson. I’m really not sure what Republicans’ strategy is vis-à-vis the $1.9 trillion COVID relief bill that’s...
The past two days of Senate committee hearings about the Capitol riot have revealed that the GOP is openly excusing racists. From the unctuous Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) to Senator John Kennedy (R-LA) adopting the smug role of victim, Republicans are all but standing on their desk and yelling, but what...
I’ve been paying only intermittent attention to this weekend’s CPAC event. Not much has changed since they choppered Donald J. Trump out of Washington like a zoo manatee being returned to its natural habitat. Ted Cruz is still awful, and the rest of the Trumpaloompas remain firmly ensconced inside the regal...
Likely there will be Daniel Dale or Aaron Rupar to tweet about the Trump blather. As for the insurrection, it was as if it had never happened. It will shock you how much the it never happened. Tom Cotton inveighed against anti-cop mobs—but only in the context of Portland and without seeming to...
It’s fitting that this year’s CPAC conference is being held in Orlando, a land of make-believe where thousands of folks travel each year to gawk at a surly, splotchy whale flailing around with no real purpose other than to wow a small cross-section of Americans who’ve grown bored with taunting the three-legged goat at their local petting...
Statue of the “other guy” arrives at CPAC, the annual owning the libs festival and meat market. The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) is underway in Orlando, Florida, opening with a 2020 election conspiracy supercut, a video heralding cancel culture “victim” Gina Carano and a gold statue of ousted president Donald Trump raising eyebrows in the Hyatt Regency lobby...