Poor Mike Pence. All he ever wanted was to install a dominionist theocratic state where Jesus was front and center and so loved the world that He might even be willing to listen to Louie Gohmert’s House floor speeches for our sins. And now Pence is caught in an ethical dilemma between living the remainder of his life as a milquetoast lickspittle and finding the courage to stand with pride to vigorously hump Donald Trump’s leg.
In case you thought Pence had found his backbone when he noted just two weeks ago that he had no authority to unilaterally reject the results of the 2020 election despite Trump’s goofball gainsaying, you’ll be relieved to discover that this lost little sheep has returned to his fascistic flock. Of course, in many GOPsters’ eyes he’s still a black sheep—though I’ve never seen a whiter man in my life outside of a Whole Foods ahi tuna salad bidding war.