Aside from not putting himself in quarantine upon return from Mexico, Ted Cruz continues to lose the PR battle of abandoning his Texas constituents. Because he’s a populist, he also got “mariachied” today. Like a normal person naming his dog Ted Cruz, Ted’s an unreal populist.


“Cruz understood that calling someone a “snowflake” is a cruel insult to level at your enemies. Then he named his own dog Snowflake. That’s like a normal person naming his dog Ted Cruz.”


A populist doesn’t have friends who leak texts to an editor at the New York Times. Because a populist’s friends don’t know any editors at the New York Times.

Ted Cruz wants to be a populist. He’s read all the manuals about how normal Americans think, dress, act and talk. But he can’t quite get the moves right.
He got a mullet, which is brilliant anti-elitist behavior. But he screwed it up, getting a haircut that is business in the front but barely two months of pandemic in the back. He grows a beard like the survivalists do but styles it like a kombucha salesman.
Born Rafael, Cruz calls himself Ted, which is just shy of a real populist name like Chase or Blake. Or Squee.
Four years ago, Cruz “liked” a porn video on Twitter. That’s not the same strong, populist game as having sex with a porn star and then paying her off to keep quiet about it in a way that will make sure every person on Earth knows about it. But it’s a start. Then Cruz fumbled the moment and blamed a staffer for pressing “like” on his Twitter account.…

Cruz had an image problem, to say the least. Texans saw what Ted chose to do when faced with an emergency and then the lies he’d spray upon being caught. It is patently offensive to see Ted out “volunteering” loading water into cars. We should make clear, had Cruz done his volunteering Wednesday, it would be respectable, no matter how much he’s hated by everyone on the left, and on the right.

Cruz definitely had to do something in an attempt to redeem himself, a little. Had we been staffers for Cruz, we would have recommended a photo-op showing him going into city hall, with an explanation that he wanted to get to the bottom of what happened so that he could as much help from Washington and the state as possible. We would have to respect that, too. Ted is one of the very few who could undertake that project and actually make a difference.

We would tell him that loading up cars for a photo-op will only make it worse. But that’s exactly what Ted chose to do. It could not possibly have looked more desperate, or obvious. Well, wait, the one thing he could do to make it more desperate is to post the pictures himself. He wouldn’t do that though…

Again, this would have been fine Wednesday. He had a few choices to redeem himself yesterday but chose the photo-op instead. Forty-two thousand replies later and Ted only seems to be making it worse.…


  • February 22, 2021