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Republican moderates offer lame 'compromise' COVID bill that's a third the size of Biden's proposal

3 min read

Republicans are intimidated by the size of Joe Biden’s bills.

Maine Sen. Susan Collins and a group of likeminded milquetoasts are balking at the $1.9 trillion COVID relief package Democrats appear determined to pass through budget reconciliation. Seems they’ve either noticed the giant deficit Donald Trump amassed both pre- and post-pandemic or (far more likely) they don’t want the new Democratic president to score a win that Americans might actually benefit from and take note of.

The Washington Post:

Ten Republican senators announced plans Sunday to release an approximately $600 billion coronavirus relief package that could serve as a bipartisan alternative to President Biden’s $1.9 trillion plan, and requested a meeting with the president to discuss it.
The senators, led by Susan Collins (R-Maine), said they would release additional details of the package on Monday. In a letter to Biden, they said they were offering their proposal in recognition of the president’s “calls for unity.”

Translation: We want to shrink the size of this relief package to the point of impotency, just like last time. Because then we can swoop in, blame Biden for the slow and sputtering recovery, retake the House in 2022, and proceed to ruin and raid the country for another 10 years before yet another Democratic president is tasked will pulling our fat out of the fire.

Erm, no thanks.

The Republican “counteroffer” seeks to remove the $15 federal minimum wage provision from Biden’s bill and reduce the size of stimulus checks from $1,400 to $1,000.

And here’s the really sweet part. They know this proposal will fail, but they want to throw Biden’s calls for “unity” back in his face.

A $600 billion plan that is a fraction of the size of Biden’s proposal is unlikely to draw much if any Democratic support. However, the GOP offer presents a test for Biden, who campaigned on being a bipartisan dealmaker and must decide whether to ignore the GOP overture or make a genuine effort to find common ground across the aisle.

Sorry, “unity” doesn’t mean fucking over the majority of the population, including displaced workers who are struggling to put food on the table, in order to make nice with Josh Hawley and Ted “Hey, Check Out the Back of My Windowless White Van” Cruz. First we deal with the pandemic (what a novel concept), because it has to be done, and then we can talk about naming something else after Reagan. Maybe start calling it the Reagan-AIDS virus or something.

So Republicans know this is all for show, but by proposing something—even something hopelessly inadequate—they’ll be able to point fingers in two years when the disease-free utopia they’re convinced Trump was busy creating fails to come to fruition. “See? We tried to compromise with you, but yesterday the original Mayor McCheese died of complications from COVID. You killed Mayor McCheese! Ivanka Trump, 2024!”

Do these clowns really think Joe Biden will fall for the same ruse cynical Repubs pulled in 2009, when in the midst of a deep, dire recession they did everything they could to cut President Obama—and by extension, American workers—off at the knees?

Full speed ahead, President Biden.

Susan Collins’ well-documented concern barely registers anymore.

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Trump is gone, but the righteous mocking goes on forever. Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out.

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