PresidentBiden

Vladimir Putin’s fatal error was assuming everyone in the United States was as weak, venal, oafish, and self-aggrandizing as Donald Trump, when in reality no more than half of us are. Of course, if you’d spent more time around Trump and Steven Seagal than with almost any other American, you’d...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 16, 2022

I’m probably a lot closer on the political spectrum to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez than I am to Joe Biden—and not just because I prefer a Starbucks triple venti nonfat soy caramel baby’s blood macchiato to whatever low-rent greasy spoon baby’s blood bevvie Biden drinks. Probably has Sanka in it. Pfft. So I appreciate what AOC is saying...

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  • Avatar of Mastergardener2k
  • April 26, 2021

As far as I’m concerned, allowing Newsmax reporters into the White House briefing room is a little like High Times asking Mitt Romney to write a guest column on how to score weed at Burning Man, but then the Biden administration is nothing if not fair (Peter Doocy’s Vesuvian whining...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • April 5, 2021

Is it sinking in for Republicans yet just how much they’ve fucked up? In the eyes of millions of Americans, they’re now the party of COVID-19, election theft, voter suppression, sedition, and smaller checks for fewer people.  Meanwhile, Joe Biden is outsmarting them at every turn, having recently brushed back the GOP’s insincere overtures...

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  • Avatar of Vetwife
  • March 18, 2021

I love dogs. I didn’t used to. My wife had dogs when we started dating, and I came to love the little monsters. Now it’s hard to imagine a life without a furry friend/fiend. So when I found out dogs would be returning to the White House after a four-year hiatus,...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 17, 2021

I love dogs. I didn’t used to. My wife had dogs when we started dating, and I came to love the little monsters. Now it’s hard to imagine a life without a furry friend/fiend. So when I found out dogs would be returning to the White House after a four-year hiatus,...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 17, 2021

After Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephanie Grisham, and Kayleigh McEnany, anyone or anything would have been an upgrade as press secretary. A wheel of Gorgonzola with a Furby chip jammed into it would have been better. But, luckily, we did much better. Biden’s first press secretary, Jen Psaki, is knowledgeable,...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 13, 2021

In just 50 days, President Joe Biden got our vaccine production and distribution system whipped into shape and signed a historic COVID-19 relief package to boost our economy and give a helping hand to millions of struggling Americans, but damn, what a snooze it’s been. No waking up and rushing to your phone...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 13, 2021

The airline industry has been hit especially hard during the COVID-19 pandemic because, for some reason, lots of us don’t want to hop into a crowded metal cylinder that, even in a non-COVID world, was roughly the hygienic equivalent of licking the bald heads of random Anytime Fitness customers during flu season....

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 11, 2021

Yeah, this was easy enough to predict. Part of voting against a COVID relief measure that polls better than dolphins riding glitter-farting unicorns on enchanted rainbow highways to free breadsticks and blowhole-waxing night at Olive Garden is that you’re morally obligated to sit back and take your lumps. But as we well...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 10, 2021

This is why you don’t take medical advice from failed meat-mongers who stare directly into the sun. As he was preparing to have his ass handed to him by Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. (Uncle Joe presented said ass on a handcrafted olive-wood charcuterie board with a lovely selection of European artisanal cheeses, a...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 9, 2021

From the Church of the Perpetual Face Palm (aka the modern-day Republican Party) comes another wee dollop of “what the fuck?” So how do you even begin to respond to this? The Republican-controlled Arizona House voted along party lines last week to allow state businesses to ignore any and all city,...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 8, 2021

I still remember when Donald Trump got up in front of a throng of masochistic fools and said, of his plutocrat-friendly 2017 tax cut bill, “This is going to cost me a fortune, this thing, believe me. This is not good for me. … I think my accountants are going crazy...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 8, 2021

I watched Jake Tapper yesterday repeatedly try, and fail, to get the Mississippi Governor to say plainly that Joe Biden was legitimately elected president.  We all see this same variations over and over – “Joe Biden is the president.  He was elected president by a majority of the electors.”  Tapper (or...

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  • Avatar of RETIII
  • March 8, 2021

Well, actually, he’s a Badger, not a duck. I was born in Wisconsin and currently live in Oregon. Believe me, I know the difference. And I can assure you, this guy is one enormous Johnson. I’m really not sure what Republicans’ strategy is vis-à-vis the $1.9 trillion COVID relief bill that’s...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • March 3, 2021

So I know C-SPAN’s whole shtick is to simply report the news without editorial comment, but maybe they could make an exception here and there? Like when a member of one party accuses the entire opposition party of eating babies? Just spitballing here. Watch: x “We need women like [Marjorie Taylor-Greene] in...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • February 4, 2021

For obvious reasons, most of the press initially swooned when Senator Collins, Romney, et al. made a misnamed “bipartisan” counter-offer to President Biden as to the Covid-relief bill.  I did notice that the press quickly kind of swung back against this narrative somewhat.  It is really hard not to considering Republicans are...

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  • Avatar of RETIII
  • February 3, 2021

These past Dispatches were obviously a Trump-era commentary.  Maybe I need to to come up with a new name. But since the Biden presidency is only weeks old, I thought I would continue this for a bit.  So, in the spirit of a new beautiful day, below are some interesting rea...

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  • Avatar of RETIII
  • February 1, 2021

“These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk on orange goo.” Or something. Hey, I’m not Bernie Taupin. Or Hal David. Or even Weird Al, for that matter. Nancy Sinatra, the daughter of show business legend Frank...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 31, 2021

Republicans are intimidated by the size of Joe Biden’s bills. Maine Sen. Susan Collins and a group of likeminded milquetoasts are balking at the $1.9 trillion COVID relief package Democrats appear determined to pass through budget reconciliation. Seems they’ve either noticed the giant deficit Donald Trump amassed both pre- and...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 31, 2021

So Inauguration Day has come and gone and Joe Biden is president. “The Storm” never arrived, and Donald Trump isn’t allowed to tweet; many QAnons are lost, bereft, and scarcely able to complete a coherent thought or register an authentic human emotion in the wake of their miasmic post-Q fugue. You know, sort of like...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 30, 2021

Since the Great and Powerful Ooze hopped in his hot air balloon and flew back to Mar-a-Lago without Dorothy and Toto, I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of him. It’s like a roly-poly raccoon has been loose in the walls for the past four years and someone finally let him...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 26, 2021

Donald Trump tried his best to erase Barack Obama’s legacy, but Joe Biden is president now, and it falls to him to scrub the ocher shite stains out of America’s Underoos. One largely symbolic—but nevertheless important—step is to get the Harriet Tubman $20 bill back on track so Frederick Douglass can see...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 25, 2021

So locking kids in cages, praising “very fine people on both sides,” shivving democracy, criminally mishandling a pandemic, and lying nonstop were not enough to make Trumpies permanent pariahs. But it looks like inciting a murderous mob may have finally done the trick. Go figure. Now that the ex-prez with...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 25, 2021

Normally I’d say this is overkill and/or unnecessarily rubbing salt in the wounds of a broken man, but by all appearances, Donald Trump doesn’t grasp his true place in the pantheon of ex-presidents. So he needs to be reminded: pic.twitter.com/bX11gSDIms — Daniel Uhlfelder (@DWUhlfelderLaw) January 25, 2021 Business Insider: A...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 25, 2021

This feels like your parents coming home after asking Hannibal Lecter to babysit and then leaving nothing for him in the fridge but fava beans and a nice Chianti. Where have you been, Joe and Kamala!? Don’t ever leave me alone with him again! Honestly, I almost wanted to cry after watching...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 22, 2021

After ignoring or defending Donald Trump’s every shambolic lie and cranial methane blast over the past five years, Fox News has zeroed in on the real crisis of credibility in our currently reeling republic: Whimsical Time magazine cover drawings. TIME's new cover: Day one https://t.co/VazxGDJzZf pic.twitter.com/R6jVrzXXZc — TIME (@TIME) January 21, 2021 Hie...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 22, 2021

Oh, this is beyond delicious. Like a giant tub of Red Vines cascading down my Twizzlers-hole like a … this simile has gotten away from me. Never mind. Anyway. Delicious. The National Review’s Kevin D. Williamson. Witless Ape Rides Helicopter Well, that sucked. Memo to MAGA and all its myriad fellow-travelers: Maybe Death...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 22, 2021

Let me begin by saying that I am strongly for eliminating the legislative filibuster entirely.  But certain Democratic Senators, most notably Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.), have made it clear that they will not vote to remove the legislative filibuster and, thus, at least for now, Democrats lack the votes to end...

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  • Avatar of RETIII
  • January 22, 2021

The Daily Beast has done it again; a compelling read, this time on Russ Travers, who was fired by Trump and hired by Biden as his deputy homeland security adviser. The article is lengthy but worth the read. Some critics are nervous about this hire, but I have not seen one appointment...

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  • Avatar of Pakalolo
  • January 21, 2021

I often worried about Dr. Anthony Fauci back in the fore-fore times. If people weren’t accusing him of advocating monstrous and/or feckless policy proposals, the so-called president of the United States was only too happy to do so. Donald Trump is so anti-science, he managed to turn a 5-foot, 7-inch,...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 21, 2021

Donald Trump is gone, but the gaslighting on his behalf continues. Rep. Steve Scalise is trying to plant this little brain parasite in our heads so we all think the Trump administration wasn’t the unending series of surprise late-night taint waxings we all perceived it to be: x Biden wants...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 21, 2021

I’m not entirely sure why Rand Paul’s neighbor beat the crap out of him—and I certainly don’t condone such behavior (only God can judge—and subsequently beat the shit out of—Rand Paul)—but figuring it out isn’t exactly like searching for a unified field theory. I assume it had something to do with...

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  • Avatar of Aldous Pennyfarthing
  • January 21, 2021

From the Human Rights Campaign,  “Biden’s Executive Order is the most substantive, wide-ranging executive order concerning sexual orientation and gender identity ever issued by a United States president. Today, millions of Americans can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that their President and their government believe discrimination based on sexual...

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  • Avatar of Pakalolo
  • January 21, 2021

I can see this happening without the kids of course. x Tonight at the White House. pic.twitter.com/isuky96P9J— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) November 7, 2020 < p class=”is-empty-p”> x x YouTube Video When dems show up…Dems win.  Now lets go get those two Ga, senators into the Senate  Runoff soon.

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  • Avatar of Vetwife
  • November 7, 2020