You’ll enjoy this.
Ted Cruz likes to pretend he’s plugged into pop culture, but his efforts in that regard are, to put it mildly, clumsy.
His latest Daffy Duck-worthy backfire came two days ago after he picked up on an old Jimmy Kimmel segment showing American pedestrians being asked to point out and identify any country on a map.
He somehow took it as evidence that socialism — or, more specifically, Bernie Sanders’ brand of democratic socialism — is destined to fail. (Maybe Ted would have found the video more enlightening if at least one passerby had pointed out Denmark, Norway, Sweden, or any of the numerous countries that have used democratic socialist principles for decades to vastly improve the lives of their citizens. But Ted likes to pretend those countries don’t exist.)
1) These people are not part of Bernie Sanders’ base, and no one ever said they were.
2) Cruz supports a pr*sident who doesn’t know the difference between Kansas City, Kansas, and Kansas City, Missouri, thinks Colorado is on the U.S.-Mexico border, told India’s prime minister that his country doesn’t share a border with China (it does), thinks “Nambia” is a country, believes Belgium is a city, Paris is in Germany, Bhutan and Nepal are part of India, and … well, you get the picture.
Well, Kimmel got wind of Cruz’s attempt to play politics with one of his old comedy bits and refreshed the concept just for Ted.
The results? Comedy gold.
“Of course, the guy who was talking about facts, truth, and substance made that all up,” Kimmel said in the intro to the segment. “They were not Bernie supporters. We don’t know who they supported. We didn’t even ask. Bernie wasn’t even running when we shot this, but in fairness to Sweaty Teddy, we decided to revisit the subject. We went out in the street and we asked people who do not support Bernie Sanders — in fact, quite the opposite — we asked them to name a country, any country, and this is how they did.”
He should be happy, though. It looks like these people would be easy to lure into the white windowless van that is Ted Cruz’s world.
For the record, my favorite is the staunch Republican who thought India was Mexico. That’s gonna be one hell of an expensive wall, ma’am. We better start building it, ASAP.
Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.