Last updated on February 8, 2021
Ted Cruz and I share exactly two things in common. We both convert oxygen to carbon dioxide and we both love The Princess Bride. I’m not happy about it, and more than once it’s forced me to question my life choices. If I share that with Cruz, what else might we have in common? Did my dad help kill JFK, too? I shudder to think.
Normally, a guy like Cruz would spend his waking hours covered in quicklime and the silt from shallow graves, but instead he ended up in the Senate, where he can do far more damage than any workaday serial killer ever could. (For the record, I’ve never believed Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. He’s more subtle than that—like a flea on a bubonic rat’s ass or something.)
Anyway, because there’s still some justice in the world, The Princess Bride cast has taken note of Cruz’s intractable awfulness and wishes he’d just shut up about the comedy classic already.
The Politicus is a collaborative political community that facilitates content creation directly on the site. Our goal is to make the political conversation accessible to everyone.Any donations we receive will go into writer outreach. That could be advertising on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit or person-to-person outreach on College campuses. Please help if you can: