You could say Ted Cruz is about as funny as a debilitating brain parasite, but that would be imprecise. He’s as funny as a brain parasite attempting to do prop comedy at 1 a.m on a Wednesday at a Sioux Falls Holiday Inn. In other words, much less funny than your workaday...
Killer
The tens of tens who showed up in Washington, DC Saturday had a face, former Trump staffer Matt Braynard. Braynard, who presents himself as one of the many “voter fraud experts,” investigating the presidential election, was front and center Saturday afternoon in the Justice for J6 huddle. Braynard, who once...
[Governor] “If Kitty Dukakis were raped and murdered, would you favor an irrevocable death penalty for the killer?” CNN debate moderator Bernard Shaw asked that question of then-presidential candidate Governor Michael Dukakis in 1988. The viewers wanted the visceral response but instead received a thoughtful and principled one, one that...
Apparently, most congressional committees are as boring as Texas during a devastating winter storm, because Ted Cruz doesn’t want to stick around for any of them. He just wants to be caught on camera pretending to care. If you want to draw Cruz like a fly to your picnic, you don’t need...
Ted Cruz has been accused of a lot of things: being the Zodiac Killer; being from Canada; being a churlish Sea Monkey that grew out of control in a secret Area 51 lab before escaping into the forest with a family-size bag of Bugles and a sixer of Zima; being the son of a...
Apparently the spree killer in Indianapolis was also a “Brony”, a follower of My Little Pony as reported by the Wall Street Journal. We are in our pandemic (l)anguish, even more confused by a sad shape for online culture. Not unlike the infantile imagery used by Boogaloo Boys, racism and sexism filter into...
Black Girl Magic has become the nouveau riche way modern society describes the accomplishments of the current crop of black women and girls, but have existed throughout history. What could be more magic than the lonely trips as a conductor on the Underground Railroad rescuing enslaved Africans led by Harriet Tubman;...
I check off a day every morning on my calendar because I am counting down to the day of my second Covid-19 vaccination. I, like a lot of other Americans, especially black Americans, have expressed skepticism over the speed, effectiveness, and side effects of the vaccines. I wrote about a...
Ted Cruz continued his “Hey, look! I’m not in Cancun!” tour yesterday, traveling to the U.S.-Mexico border in search of a thatch of reeds that in no way made him look like a serial killer floating freshly harvested bodies down the river on jerry-rigged rafts comprised of peat bog residue and...
Apparently John (no relation) Kennedy (R-LA) may endorse those sober drivers who run over demonstrators in Oklahoma, because a guy who “went to Oxford” should know something about logical fallacies. x Hours after America's second mass shooting in a week, Sen. John Kennedy downplays the gun problem by noting that...
Concealability had nothing to do with Monday’s massacre in Boulder, Colorado, but the details tell us more about the marketability of semi-automatic firearms using high-capacity magazines. Discussing open-carry regulation may have been rendered irrelevant with the death of the police officer although some details will be important: was he carrying his “patrol rifle” and...
In September of 2013, Republicans attempted to curtail full funding of the Affordable Care Act but their efforts came to an absurd end. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) spent just over 21-hours regaling the public with a tale penned by Dr. Seuss, the wisdom of Ashton Kutcher, and the World Wrestling...
Tuesday morning, I had the first of my two scheduled vaccinations for the coronavirus. I was apprehensive, at first, but once I passed the first phalanx of civilian volunteers, I was met by a battery of fresh-faced Marines, herding, asking me questions, screening me to avoid exacerbating any of my...
The Atlanta spree killings are unfortunately a story with structural similarity to events elsewhere. How do we know that Robert Long wasn’t on his way to Mar-a-Lago when the cops performed a PIT maneuver on him after he killed eight people. Darn hypotheticals of the culture wars. Mar-a-Lago as spa resort...
So you saw this yesterday, of course. While describing alleged killer Robert Aaron Long’s heinous Atlanta-area crime spree, Cherokee Sheriff’s Office spokesman Capt. Jay Baker mentioned that Long had had a helluva day before traveling directly to, and shooting up, three discrete locations full of, you know, people. Spake Baker: “Investigators...
Prosecuting hate crime is another thing some prosecutors might not want especially when a Bible Belt jury might want to condone violence against the victimless(sic) crime industry. “Let those pesky feds do it”. As the alleged suspect said, “he was at the end of his rope” because irony runs deep...
Not sure where they took him for ice cream after his (alleged) murder spree, but they sure do seem understanding. I’m all for getting at the root causes of crime, but why do we get the kid gloves out only for white suspects, such as alleged shooter Robert Aaron Long,...
To adequately convey to future generations how much the past four years were like staring at an M.C. Escher drawing while attempting to set the world record for most psychedelic toads shoved into a single human mouth at one time, I’m thinking about putting together a time capsule. It will...
There’s really only one Ted that’s applicable to an unconfirmed source trying to connect Greta Thunberg with the Unabomber and that’s Ted “Zodiac Killer” Cruz. Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg has mocked Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) after he criticized President Joe Biden‘s decision to rejoin the Paris climate agreement. “So happy that USA has finally...
Though my spot on the introversion spectrum lies somewhere between Kleenex box-wearing Howard Hughes and urine-collecting Howard Hughes (and as I continue to age, I’m on a bullet train to raw-fish-eating Gollum), I still usually get sick in the winter, at least once. In the past, while grocery shopping or taking...
Good God almighty. Well, this proves Ted Cruz isn’t the Zodiac Killer, because even the Zodiac Killer wouldn’t be sociopathic enough to blame his fucking kids for the biggest asshole move in Texas history. New Statement from @tedcruz: pic.twitter.com/0WMni5O9R1 — Vaughn Hillyard (@VaughnHillyard) February 18, 2021 The full text: Statement...
Ted Cruz and I share exactly two things in common. We both convert oxygen to carbon dioxide and we both love The Princess Bride. I’m not happy about it, and more than once it’s forced me to question my life choices. If I share that with Cruz, what else might we have...
Always weird when Ted Cruz seeks cover by agreeing with AOC. NEW TX POLL: A majority of Texas voters (51%) — and 52% of Texas Independents — support Ted Cruz’s resignation following his role in inciting the January 6th insurrection. Our latest poll w/ @MoveOn:https://t.co/g3ZnVrK7FR pic.twitter.com/0HUyQHgAWe — Data for Progress...
The best explanation of short selling (as it applies to GameStop) that I've read pic.twitter.com/o9ZL5HqsKf — John M. Cunningham (@jmcunning) January 28, 2021 1/2Short selling means borrowing shares and immediately selling them. When the price goes down, they buy them back for cents and return them to the lender. This...
Normal, decent people were outraged when Kyle Rittenhouse, the Kenosha killer charged with first-degree intentional homicide, was made into a right-wing celebrity. All of the videos we’ve seen of him are unpleasant, whether he’s shooting people, or punching a girl. Yet Tucker Carlson praised him. Failed actor Rick Schroeder put...
So this story requires a rudimentary understanding of two completely unrelated news items: 1) The weird GameStop stock manipulation that’s currently being undertaken by Redditers. Basically, it’s a gambit intended to screw over hedge fund managers who shorted the stock and to prove that the market is just a load of bullshit,...
Nothing but baboons: x “Baboons do not go far from the place of their birth.” Maasai proverb https://t.co/6pedtij0BT— Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) January 3, 2021 x Fun Fact: In 1861, 11 U.S. Senators were expelled from the Senate for refusing to recognize the election of Abraham Lincoln. — Alex Cole (@acnewsitics)...
Happy New Year Kitchen Table Kibitzing is a community series for those who wish to share a virtual kitchen table with other readers of Daily Kos who aren’t throwing pies at one another. Drop by to talk about music, your weather, your garden, or what you cooked for supper…. Newcomers...
Whoever stuck the Tin Man funnel in my head and power-blasted a veritable Niagara of DMT into my brain, please just stop. I get it. Nothing makes sense. And if I see the White Rabbit I’m gonna bite his head off. And I’m a fucking vegan, for fuck’s sake. So, yeah,...
People will not do the right thing until they are scared of NOT doing the right thing. x In the past 48 hours, at least 5,495 more Americans were killed by Covid. They and their loved ones would've been able to celebrate the holidays. The more we distance and mask...
Old John Brown’s body lies moldering in the grave, While weep the sons of bondage whom he ventured all to save; But tho he lost his life while struggling for the slave, His soul is marching on. Abolitionist John Brown was executed by the state of Virginia on December 2, 1859. pic.twitter.com/AOAIpDQKPG — Haymarket Books (@haymarketbooks) December 2,...
LOL ”acting AG Rudy Giuliani” because Trump could fire AG Bill Barr. x Three weeks ago I told @thenation readers not to be freaked out about Barr’s “investigation” of voter fraud and, well I’m *thrilled* that held up. 🙂https://t.co/8UyMdaC1vq— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) December 1, 2020 Attorney General Bill Barr arrived...
Did you have this one on your road to the apocalypse bingo card? A 17-year-old kid brings an AR-15 to a protest, kills two people and wounds another, and eventually gets sprung from jail with the help of the My Pillow guy and the kid from Silver Spoons. Of course...
Trumpist anti-certifying efforts for the remaining states seem a fools’ errand but Trump and Giuliani seem to be the best fools for it. Regardless, they are chasing some version of an apocalyptic conclusion. x And Bannon talking about it openly on his insane Alex Jones-level podcast. — S.V. Dáte (@svdate) November 18,...
The Trump family is to irony as Lennie from Of Mice and Men is to puppies. They’ve killed it more often than Donald Trump’s masturbating-hyena voice has killed my will to live. And this morning, Ivanka Trump — the “smart” one — drove yet another stake into the heart of...
Apparently the person who gave their gun to Kyle Rittenhouse has some explaining to do. x Blue Lives Matter Supporters Say Kyle Rittenhouse Not Reflective Of Most Peaceful Apologists For Police State https://t.co/JdlxmfEkix pic.twitter.com/CMlVBh6Teq— The Onion (@TheOnion) October 17, 2020 Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old gunman charged with killing two men with...
First, from The Washington Post: Mining executive Tom Collier, who boasted in secretly taped conversations that he had leveraged his ties to Republican officials to advance a controversial project in Alaska, resigned Wednesday. Collier, CEO of the Pebble Limited Partnership, offered his resignation a day after the group Environmental Investigation...
In revisionist history, perhaps the Union troops hunting down John Wilkes Booth were only interested in him because of some ‘wanton endangerment’. We do know who’s a snake in these counterfactual historical narratives. x For sure! It’d be like charging John Wilkes Booth for shooting recklessly inside a crowded theater....
Feral pigs are the crying-wolf excuse for some firearm owners, as though the average hunter needed a modern sporting rifle (semi-auto long gun with large capacity magazine) to defend their home and children against predator species. Then there’s Kenosha’s 17 year-old killer and his AR-15 pattern rifle with 30-round magazine. The...
I know many are hearing the same thing in other states but here in Florida, it is ridiculous and with DeSantis heading the ignorance, the careful are being harrassed. x Beautiful state. I enjoyed myself in Florida last week. Hardly any masks worn either. People respect one another’s personal space...
I’m no fan of Ted Cruz, but this is so, so unfair. He almost certainly has testicles. He has a daughter who finds him frightfully off-putting, after all: They say blood is thicker than water, but Ted Cruz revulsion is universal. So the #TedCruzHasNoBalls hashtag got started because Cruz attempted to make...
Will it be an IQ test, financial check, your attending a Hillary rally in college, or your SAT scores? What will prevent you from moving next door to Trumpists. Maybe it’ll be a lawn sign. x https://t.co/WfBIlQUPc5— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) September 10, 2020 x How is this a legal gathering in...
Sure, why not? Trump telling Americans outright lies about their vulnerability to a killer virus is just like Churchill trying to calm the British people during World War II. EXACTLY like it. And if you disagree, you clearly have Trump Derangement Syndrome. x Trump compares his decision to keep quiet...
Donald Trump Jr. is flogging his new book Liberal Privilege — about how the media and other establishment types give liberals a pass on everything — and during an interview to plug it, he said of right-wing Trump-supporting Kenosha killer Kyle Rittenhouse, “We all do stupid things when we’re 17.” Among...
Well while Wall Street is rolling in the money now, things are about to change. Coca-Cola will eliminate thousands of jobs in the U.S. and abroad, the company said Friday. It's the latest in a series of cuts that have reduced the beverage giant's workforce by roughly 100,000 in the...
This will be brief. I mean, how much more can I say? Devin Nunes is overly litigious vis-à-vis ungulates of the bovine persuasion? He is. And that’s why shit like this goes down: x Antifa Airlines full of thugs and anarchist mooing at everyone's favorite CA rep. I'm shocked he...