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Geraldo wants to beat up 'rotten snitch' whistleblower for Trump

2 min read

When Fox & Friends wants to ratchet up the rank stupidity a notch or two, they recall Geraldo Rivera from the Smithsonian’s Hall of Old-Timey Mustaches and put him on the air for a few minutes of fatuous, barking-mad pseudo-tough talk.

And he doesn’t disappoint. This morning, he claimed he wanted to beat up the mean whistleblower who ratted out Donald Trump, who’s simply trying to do his job, FFS.

I mean, Trump is trying to run an international criminal organization here. You can’t have rats and snitches, man. That’s not how this works.


“This is gonna be what the impeachment is all about, maybe one or two little other things fall in,” Rivera said. “So it’s going to be the president of the United States in a conversation that was intercepted by a rotten snitch, I’d love to wap him, but that’s another story.”

Rivera also lamented the treatment of Trump, complaining the “poor president” was beset by “snitches and rats.”

“Imagine this poor president, his whole tenure in office has been marked by snitches, and rats, and backstabbers, and it’s amazing how he functions at all,” he said.

Seriously. Imagine how many crimes he could get away with if it weren’t for all these rats and backstabbers! He’d be virtually scandal-free!

Also, “wap”? Who the fuck says “wap”? Is he writing Bazooka Joe comics when he’s not on Fox?

Good to know, though, that Fox has gone full-on mafia family. At least they’re being a bit more honest about it now.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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