This morning on Fox & Friends, where brain cells go to die, White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows claimed only Donald Trump goes after and takes out terrorists. Though his memory seemed, shall we say, selective. x On Fox & Friends, Mark Meadows lies that Donald Trump is “the only president who actually went…
Category: FoxandFriends
Peter Navarro: 'We're all tired of this politicization of the China virus'
Peter Navarro, the Trump administration trade adviser whom Jared Kushner found on Amazon.com (the same place I’ve been vainly searching for a one-bedroom tauntaun carcass to hide in for the next four years in case Trump somehow wins again) wants y’all to stop politicizing the, erm, China virus, folks! This morning, he was on Fox &…
Trump claims he made Sessions attorney general even though he knew he was unqualified
Even when I’m not high I have a hard time following Donald Trump’s “logic,” and today was no exception. Being high doesn’t help either, come to think of it. Neither does huffing solvent. Or glue. Or Clorox. You pretty much have to fill your mouth with steel wool, drop three tabs of acid, and hook…
Rubio: Companies are having trouble rehiring because lazy workers make more on unemployment
Sen. Marco Rubio appeared on Fox & Friends the other day to workshop some stupid shit he wanted to say. Brian Kilmeade, who has long been Stupid Shit’s earthly avatar, was happy to oblige him. So it seems people don’t want to work because they’re making more sitting on their asses at home. Couldn’t have…
The Trump cult's top lieutenants now have their own uniforms
Hey, at least these bizarre Team Trump unis aren’t tan, because that would be an outrage. Nothing says fiercely independent like advertising Trump-branded merchandise on national television. It would be just slightly more dignified if Lindsey Graham and Mark Meadows tried to rope Brian Kilmeade into selling Herbalife to his friends and colleagues. He looks to…
Good lord, the Dear Leader cult has colonized Planet Cray-Cray
What on God’s green Earth could possibly account for such uncommon unhingery? x On Fox & Friends, Ainsley Earhardt says Trump never loses his temper and always answers when reporters ask him tough questions. Wow— Gabriel Sherman (@gabrielsherman) February 4, 2020 < p class=”is-empty-p”> EARHARDT: “Donald Trump says some things and he will go after…
Conservatives far angrier about WH leakers than the corruption of their president
The BIG BOLTON BOMBSHELL is the talk of the town this morning, and, of course, every last American is simply outraged that it’s now basically irrefutable that our pr*sident is a corrupt, venal maniac who bribes other countries with foreign aid in order to secure sleazy political favors. Ha ha ha! Oh, you naif. Of…
Tan Suit-gate 2: Nancy Pelosi wore pink while signing articles of impeachment!
You all remember that time Barack Obama wore a tan suit, right? It was the most undignified thing a president had ever done or ever would do. Well, conservatives, who apparently are only concerned with textile-related vulgarities, are at it again. After whining about the souvenir pens Nancy Pelosi handed out after signing the articles…
CBC edited Trump out of its showing of Home Alone 2; Fox & Friends thinks it's a conspiracy
I envy the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. I wish I could edit Donald Trump out of my head. Unfortunately, I’m told very few insurance plans will approve that kind of surgery, no matter how many times I tell them it’s not really “elective.” So the CBC edited Trump out of its broadcast of Home Alone 2,…
Geraldo wants to beat up 'rotten snitch' whistleblower for Trump
When Fox & Friends wants to ratchet up the rank stupidity a notch or two, they recall Geraldo Rivera from the Smithsonian’s Hall of Old-Timey Mustaches and put him on the air for a few minutes of fatuous, barking-mad pseudo-tough talk. And he doesn’t disappoint. This morning, he claimed he wanted to beat up the…
Fox News host: 'Donald Trump can outwork anyone'
Do NOT sip coffee before reading this. You’ve been warned. Rachel Campos-Duffy was on the weekend version of Fox & Friends yesterday (which is just as dumb as the regular Fox & Friends, but with no Brian Kilmeade to make the brain farts extra pungent). Anyway, she appeared on the show with her husband, Rep. Sean…
Lindsey Graham viciously attacks 'The Squad' — manages to bootlick while keeping his lips moving
Lindsey Graham appeared on everyone’s favorite intellectual black hole this morning (i.e., Fox & Friends) to regale the three alabaster dopes with his own brand of projection and unhinged racism. (Wait, is it really his own brand? Or is it more like bathtub meth made with a generic version of Sudafed? I’ll get back to…
Fox News host: Mueller doesn't know the details of the Mueller report
Fox News could easily replace Brian Kilmeade with a backyard chicken impaled on a mop handle and few would notice. But that would be cruel, and I certainly don’t endorse it. In fact, as a vegan animal rights advocate, I’m more than happy to let the cruelty be beamed over the teevee box in my…
Fox & Friends complain that John Dean tweets too much and uses too many insulting nicknames
Guys, it’s one thing to kill irony and another to dismember its corpse, make a davenport out of its skin, and sit in it while you spew random syllables like a drowned Teddy Ruxpin. Via Media Matters: BRIAN KILMEADE (CO-HOST): This is what he thinks of Donald Trump: He has horrible things to say about Ronald…
Fox & Friends complains that John Dean tweets too much and uses too many insulting nicknames
Guys, it’s one thing to kill irony and another to dismember its corpse, make a davenport out of its skin, and sit on it while you spew random syllables like a drowned Teddy Ruxpin. Via Media Matters: BRIAN KILMEADE (CO-HOST): This is what [John Dean] thinks of Donald Trump: He has horrible things to say about Ronald…
Watch New Yorkers snub Fox's Steve Doocy in this hilarious on-the-street segment
Oh, my God. I love when Monday blesses us with a schadenfreude-storm. Fox & Friends’ Steve Doocy wanted to talk to New Yorkers this morning about a proposal to ban texting while crossing the street, but they were far more interested in a ban on right-wing doofuses asking stupid questions. You will enjoy this. Oh,…
Fox's Napolitano says Trump violated the Constitution three times in the past week alone
It’s obvious to us that Donald Trump has crossed the Rubicon so many times they’ve had to build a KFC next to it, but when Fox’s talking heads start calling him out for his extralegal brain farts, we know things have gotten pretty egregious. Andrew Napolitano, whom Trump used to love before he started throwing shade…
Fox's Napolitano says Trump violated the Constitution three times in the past week
It’s obvious to us that Donald Trump has crossed the Rubicon so many times they’ve had to build a KFC next to it, but when Fox’s talking heads start calling him out for his extralegal brain farts, we know things have gotten pretty egregious. Andrew Napolitano, whom Trump used to love before he started throwing shade…
Giuliani burns Trump's excuse for hiding his taxes
Rudy Giuliani has to be the worst lawyer in the world … especially when his clients are criminals. You’d be better off buying a Magic 8-Ball, drinking the liquid inside, and hoping you hallucinate some decent legal advice than you would hiring this hairless magenta clown schwantz. And today, once again, he asserted his incompetence during…
Fox & Friends host: Mary Magdalene brought Jesus' crown of thorns to Paris
Oh, the things you can learn from Fox News. For instance, “Santa Claus is white.” “Donald Trump is a normal human being.” And now — just in time for Easter! — “Mary Magdalene brought Jesus’ crown of thorns to (wait for it!) Paris!” x Yes, @ainsleyearhardt actually DID say Mary Magdalene brought Jesus' Crown of Thorns…
