We already know why Donald Trump hates the idea of mail-in voting. If citizens can easily exercise their right to vote, Republicans won’t do so well. That’s why the GOP is the voter-suppression party. Voter ID is one method they’ve used to tamp down participation. Another recent (failed) tactic was forcing Wisconsinites to choose between voting and personal safety.

Back in March, Trump said the quiet part out loud during one of his autoerotic asphyxiation sessions Fox & Friends interviews. While blasting Democratic proposals for accommodating absentee voting, Trump said, “The things they had in there were crazy. They had things — levels of voting that, if you ever agreed to it, you’d never have a Republican elected in this country again.”

Needless to say, if higher levels of voter participation are “unfair” to your party, maybe the problem isn’t really with the election system. Just a thought.

Well, guess what? As with many issues, the GOP is out of step with the will of the people, as a recent Fox News (!) poll shows.


A Fox News poll published Monday found that nearly two-thirds, or 63 percent, of respondents—including a majority of independents and Democrats as well as 42 percent of Republicans—favor allowing all Americans to vote by mail ahead of the November election. Only 30 percent of respondents said they did not support the idea, with 8 percent of them said they did not know.

Among Democrats, 83 percent supported allowing all Americans to vote by mail. The majority of independents, 60 percent, also supported the proposal. Only a slim majority—51 percent—of Republicans said they firmly opposed expanding mail-in voting.

“Americans should not be forced to risk their health to cast their ballots. That’s why poll after poll has shown that a vast majority of Americans support mail-in voting as a safe alternative to in-person voting,” Ryan Thomas, a spokesperson for Stand Up America, told Newsweek in an email. The group advocates for Congress to allocate $4 billion to expand vote by mail access.

Five years ago I moved to Oregon, and I’ve voted by mail in every election since. (Oregonians have been voting my mail for more than 20 years now.) It’s super easy, and you’re given a voter pamphlet to assist you with your decisions.

Since Oregon is a safe blue state, maybe I could do more good for Democrats by moving back to Wisconsin, a state that’s currently as purple as my corpse would have been if I’d had to put up with Scott Walker and Robin Vos for much longer. Or I could start a liberal colony in Wyoming to help flip that state blue. But since I already have more THC in me than one of El Chapo’s drug tunnels, it might be a poor fit.

So I say we make every state a mail-in state. Then maybe Republicans would actually have to focus on issues that a majority cares about.

Hey, one can dream, right?

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!

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