Yes, yes, yes, we defeated communist Japan. Don’t rub it in; they’re our allies now.

Not sure if this means Trump believes he was literally alive for Pearl Harbor and recalls it going down, or if this is some kind of subtle threat that we could bomb Nagasaki and Hiroshima all over again, but either way, it’s pants-crapping crazy.

From The Washington Post:

During a tense meeting at the White House in June, President Trump caught Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe off guard with a pointed remark.

“I remember Pearl Harbor,” the president said, referring to the surprise attack that propelled the United States into World War II.

Trump then launched into a blistering critique of Japan’s economic policies, according to people familiar with the conversation. He railed against the U.S. trade deficit with Japan and urged Abe to negotiate a bilateral trade deal that is more favorable to U.S. exporters of beef and automobiles.

Honestly, no amount of mouth flatulence from this hyperinflated troll doll would surprise me at this point, so why wouldn’t he needlessly insult a vitally important, longstanding ally whose culture places a high value on saving face?

[I]n recent months, the president’s unorthodox approach to North Korea and deeply negative view of Japan’s trade practices have locked Trump and Abe in a series of agree-to-disagree stalemates, to the growing frustration of Tokyo.

The rift marks a disappointing turn for Abe, who invested heavily in a personal relationship with Trump, publicly praising his “outstanding” and “remarkable leadership,” lavishing him with a $3,800 gold-plated golf club and refusing to retaliate against his steel and aluminum tariffs even as other U.S. allies took swift reciprocal measures against American bourbon, corn and motorcycles.

See, that was Abe’s mistake. Trump doesn’t have “personal relationships.” He’s a solipsist. Other sentient beings are just Sims to him. 

And, of course, it looks like Abe is gradually getting to know Trump the way we know Trump:

Japanese officials say Trump misstates economic data during meetings and rebuffs advice on North Korea. In phone calls and meetings ahead of Trump’s landmark summit with Kim Jong Un in Singapore in June, Abe repeatedly advised Trump not to halt military exercises with South Korea or entertain an agreement to formally end the Korean War until North Korea takes concrete steps to denuclearize.

“Abe was completely ignored,” said a person close to the Japanese prime minister.

“His lieutenants are resigned to Trump now being uncontrollable by Jim Mattis or John Kelly and think John Bolton has even more limited influence,” he said, referring to the defense secretary, the White House chief of staff and Trump’s national security adviser.

Anyway, since Trump has no problem assaulting world leaders with this kind of petty abuse, I think the next head of state to sit down with him should just blurt out, “Hey, remember that time your wife said you raped her?” or “How are the ol’ bone spurs feelin’ today?”

After all, that’s the only kind of diplomacy he understands.


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.

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