Bill Mitchell, the host of YourVoice America, loves him some Donald J. Trump, and he’s got more than half a million Twitter followers hanging on his every Dadaistic dingleberry of wisdom.
But … he clearly doesn’t know how averages work:
Interesting that ActBlue raised an average donation of $30.38.— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) April 21, 2020
This would imply people are donating in uneven numbers, including pennies, which would be odd. OR it would indicate untraceable foreign donations and an exchange rate translation, which would be illegal.
Lookee! More than 4,000 people thought enough of this tweet to “like” it. And it got 1,400 retweets — and counting! But, well, it didn’t go exactly as planned.
Well, it was 4/20 when he tweeted that. But I smoked a fuck-ton yesterday, and it didn’t come close to turning me into such a giant goofus that I forgot basic arithmetic. Granted, for a minute or two I wondered if there was a version of me somewhere in the vast multiverse who was spending the day artificially inseminating woefully unprepared howler monkeys instead of smoking ganj, but I never got quite this stupid.
Needless to say, Bill seemed a bit, shall we say, testy about being ratioed:
Yup, you move America’s dial — way down to the “dipshit” setting. Thanks much for that, man.
P.S.: If you want to donate $30.38 — or any other amount — to ActBlue, you can do that here. George Soros, if you happen to be reading this, you can donate, too. But, shhhhhh … don’t tell anyone. They’re onto us.
Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.