You know, I’m happy they were able to take Kyle Rittenhouse into custody after he allegedly shot and killed two people during protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin, last year. That’s the way these things are supposed to go. I just wish conservatives didn’t feel the need to turn him into a folk hero. I’m surprised Mike Lindell isn’t giving him a sponge bath live on Frankspeech.com as we speak. While he’s at it, maybe he could pop a couple of tasty macarons in Kyle’s mouth while a pair of 18th century fops read him lyric poetry and loofah his velvety, gleaming-white undercarriage.
I mean, he’s obviously an upstanding, law-abiding young man who started shooting at protesters out of the goodness of his heart. It’s not like he was trying to pass a $20 bill that may or may not have been counterfeit.
In contrast to Donald Trump’s shambolic bearing, appearance, and comportment, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is a natty hail-fellow-well-met and a gentleman.