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You Got Shamed Yesterday. An Open Letter to FL-1

I’m not going to waste my time with Matt Gaetz. He’s not worth the keystrokes, and besides, my eyes only let me type for so long these days. They say you can always reason with a Republican. That might well be, but you can also always reason with a turkey vulture, for all of the good it will do you.

No, I’d rather talk to the denizens of Florida’s first legislative district. That is, if they’re willing to come out from under the bed and go outside again yet. Yesterday, Matt Gaetz came across as a cold, heartless, uncaring, sycophantic fiend. And Matt Gatez represents you. You walked into a gym, pulled a lever, and sent him to Washington DC to be your public face. So tell me, how does that feel this morning?

Let’s be clear, shall we? Yesterday wasn’t about any stupid vanity wall. It wasn’t about the evils of illegal immigration either. Hell, it wasn’t even about politics! It was about compassion, empathy, and dignity, the complete lack of which makes Gaetz a perfect surrogate for the day glo toddler in the White House, if not for you.

The sad part is that this sorry spectacle didn’t need to take place at all. Almost every other Republican member of the committee boycotted the meeting, they simply stayed away. And that’s all that Matt Gaetz needed to do as well, stay away and shut up! But no, like a 4 yo tired of his toys in the den, little Matty had to run in and disrupt the quiet conversation the adults were having in the living room.

The two men that Gaetz chose to castigate and insult were not MS-13 gang members, with machetes in hand, and bales of Tampico ditch weed on their backs, nor were they footsore migrants fleeing violence in Central America. They were fellow Floridians, neighbors, coworkers, friends. And do you know what else? They could have been any one of you. If you have a child between the ages of 5-18, then there but for the grace of God.

The subject of the hearing was senseless gun violence. And those two men have laid the ultimate sacrifice at the alter of our flaccid gun laws, their children were murdered at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School. Their futures lie with Christmas trees with empty spaces where presents should be, birthday bouquets laid at the foot of grave stones, and quiet, bitter tears shed at night over grandchildren never to be born and held. If ever there were two men who deserved to have their voices heard, and subject on which they should be allowed to speak, it was these men, and this subject.

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But, no. Matt Gaetz, your representative in congress, had to sneeringly point a scaly Gollum finger at those two men, and when he opened his mouth, every drop of venom that spewed out said that the finger he really wanted to point at them was the middle one. Gaetz tried to have the two men thrown out of the hearing room. And for what reason? Because they twice dared to demand that he stay on goddamned topic.

You stitched together this Frankenstein’s monster. You breathed life into it, and then you loosened the straps on the table and let it run amok all over the countryside. So, no, you don’t get to look all shocked, and terrified, and regretful when you look out your window and see pitchforks and torches running up the hill towards your castle. It doesn’t work that way. You broke it, you own it.

The good news is that in politics, nothing is forever. In another 21 months, you’ll have the opportunity to rectify your previous mistake. The bad news is that for the next 21 months, you get to live with the consequences of your actions, and I highly doubt that this is the only embarrassment you’l suffer at the hands of this ignorant buffoon. But the really, really bad news is that you aren’t the only ones. For the next 21 months, all of the rest of us get to live with the consequences of your actions too. For Gods sake, think before you act the next time, will ya?

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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