I’ve always suspected Donald Trump would be far more upset if someone screwed up his McDonald’s lunch order than if, say, millions of promised (and necessary) coronavirus tests failed to materialize by a self-imposed deadline.

After all, Trump can lie about the tests, but he can’t pretend he has an invisible McRib and fries in front of him.

So a day after the Trump administration indicated it would wind down its coronavirus task force — and before it suddenly reversed that shit-for-brains policy when millions of lucid human beings heard about it — Gregg Gonsalves, a Yale University epidemiologist, said what many of us have been thinking. What Trump is doing — or, more precisely, not doing — amounts to criminal negligence.


Reopening the economy with no real plan to do it safely — i.e., without testing and contact tracing — is essentially murder.

But Trump knows that he needs a much stronger economy to give him any shot at reelection. America has to be “back” before Election Day or Trump will have nothing to run on but racism, xenophobia, and a bunch of shitty right-wing judges.

So he’s gambling with our lives. If things miraculously work out, he’ll look like a strong leader who guided us through this crisis. If not, well, what’s a few hundred thousand dead Americans to him? This guy had no compunction about tearing innocent children away from their mothers and tossing them in cages. Why the fuck would you ever think he’d care about you?

Trump likes to pretend he’s a wartime president fighting an “invisible enemy.” Well, maybe we can convict him of war crimes. Deliberate mass murder qualifies, right?

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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