Once again, Donald Trump blasted a mammoth, sulfuric Beelzebub fart and left the room, leaving it to members of the sane community to Febreze the fuck out of the country.
No, the painstakingly negotiated $900 billion COVID-19 relief bill was by no means perfect. And Trump is actually right that the $600 pittance set aside for working people was not nearly enough—which is why congressional Democrats have long argued for bigger checks. But that’s an opinion that should have been shared in, I don’t know, FUCKING MAY after the House passed the HEROES Act.
But Trump either 1) failed to notice that Republicans were dead set on adding naught but an extra lump of coal to Americans’ pay buckets this Christmas or 2) (the far more likely scenario) he decided to punish Yertle’s anti-Trump treachery by blowing up his compromise bill, knowing the $2,000 he’s requesting for ordinary Americans would never fly with Mitch and his fave plutocrats.
So Trump has singlehandedly, through an 11th-hour tantrum, prevented any relief from reaching people who desperately need it. This was his Christmas present to you, and then he flew the coop to Mar-a-Lago, where I assume he will either live out the rest of his days curating a scrapbook full of election conspiracy theories or fashion a chrysalis out of individually wrapped Kraft cheese slices in anticipation of his dazzling transfiguration into Gandalf the Shite.
