Nothing good ever comes after the phrase “this isn’t me being racist.” Never, ever, ever, ever, ever.
In fact, it’s an iron law of racism that any such phrase is immediately and emphatically followed by something really fucking racist. It’s like me saying, “I don’t hate anyone … but if Mitch McConnell’s face happened to spontaneously melt off his skull and trickle down a sewer grate, instantly metamorphosing into a piquant, highly sought-after condiment in the phantasmagorical Land of the Mole People, I’d probably watch that shit on an endless loop with an 88-ounce tub of Red Vines in my lap before falling fast asleep in a river of vermilion drool.”
Which brings me to this dipshit.
If you remember DeAnna Lorraine at all, it’s probably for a tweet that Donald Trump retweeted on April 12 that included the hashtag #FireFauci.
She’s also a conspiracy theorist, a Republican, and a former candidate for Nancy Pelosi’s House seat.
In a recent video, she complained about COVID-19 mitigation efforts, saying, “Nothing has worked for the left. They want to keep this coronavirus going. They benefit from it. They want to keep America shut down.” And: “This hoax is being exposed, so guess what their next big lie is that they’re going to push? That reopening America is somehow considered racist.”
Well, it’s not racist so much as it is stupid. But, yes, it’s also racist, and here’s why. Black people have been disproportionately affected by the novel coronavirus. In the U.S., African Americans have accounted for 30 percent of COVID-19 deaths, despite making up just 13 percent of the population.
But Lorraine doesn’t believe those numbers — and what’s more, Black people have brought their misery on themselves.
“And you know what? And now again, this isn’t me being racist or anything, but I’m just reporting the facts. If there is truly a discrepancy, if there is truly—I’m not really buying it—but if it’s true that the coronavirus is disproportionately affecting black people, and they’re apparently getting the coronavirus at a higher rate than white people, then I do have to say this: Here’s what I’m seeing. I’m getting reports, OK, from some folks, saying that they’re seeing a lot of black folks in their community having parties and barbecues and crawfish boils and other kinds of things. I am hearing reports about that. So maybe they’re causing this. Maybe they’re bringing on the spread of the coronavirus themselves.”
Barbecues!? Crawfish boils!? Outrageous! If they were real Americans they’d stand shoulder to shoulder on the steps of state capitols while expectorating Freedom Phlegm onto cops and security staff.
So, yeah, this is where Trump is getting his advice from. Real Americans like this.
But, you know, she’s not being racist. She’s the least racist person you’ll ever meet. The least racist. Believe me.
Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.