What We Won't Miss When the CREATURE Slinks Off to the Black Mar-A-Lagoon

“It aint over til the fat ass sings.” Or something like that. But contrary to this slightly altered aphorism, it is most definitely over. Joe Biden is the President-Elect and Donald Trump is what he has always been: A loser! And while he will continue to pursue frivolous, meritless, impotent lawsuits that wouldn't even change the election results if he prevailed, the end of his reign of terror has come.

Much of the nation is anxiously awaiting Trump making that final walk from the White House to the Big House. There are stacks of indictments awaiting a civilian Trump. But whether he is prosecuted or flees the country as he himself proposed, one thing is certain. America will not miss him and what he represents. The following is a brief, and necessarily abridged, collection of what we won't miss:

  • Fake News: Trump has spent five years maligning the media in Stalinist terms as “the enemy of the people.”
  • Incessant tweeting: Not a day goes by without Trump venting incoherently on Twitter.
  • Pathological lying: He has been documented to have told more than 25,000 lies.
  • Daily attention seeking: He can't stand not being the center of attention.
  • America First jingoism: He promotes a form of American supremacy.
  • Craven misogyny: He viciously attacks and insults women. And there are at least 26 women who have made credible allegations of assault and/or harassment.
  • Embracing foreign dictators: Trump idolizes brutal tyrants like Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un
  • Alienating allies: He has driven away long-time allies and broken agreements.
  • Blatant propaganda: He disseminates utterly fictional stories to boost himself.
  • Emboldening racist hate groups: He refuses to condemn groups like the KKK and Proud Boys.
  • Crackpot conspiracy theories: Trump spreads ludicrous and baseless allegations.
  • Colluding with Russia: He and his closest associates are tightly intertwined with Russian leaders and operatives.
  • Shameless boasting: He can't stop bragging about things he hasn't done.
  • Petulant whining: He can't stop complaining about criticism for things he has done.
  • Infantile nicknames: i.e. “Sleepy Joe,” “Crazy Nancy,” and “Shifty Schiff.”
  • Malignant narcissism: Trump's psychoses are apparent and dangerous.
  • Relentless vengefulness: He will always seek revenge for imagined slights.
  • Obama jealousy: He is obsessively fixated on the fact that he can never measure up to Obama.
  • Pitiful ignorance: This is the guy who thinks Stealth fighters are invisible, windmills cause cancer, and hurricanes can be nuked.
  • Criminal grifting: Trump has made a fortune directing taxpayer dollars to his own business and extorting funds from domestic and foreign entities seeking his favor.
  • Authoritarian aspirations: His executive orders are blatant abuses of power and he routinely ignores the law.
  • Childish tantrums: A six year old would be embarrassed to behave like Trump.
  • Reality TV media stunts: He has never left behind his television game show host attitude.
  • Denying climate change: This is killing the planet and its inhabitants.
  • Denying the coronavirus: This is killing Americans.
  • Denying reality: This is just how perversely Trump views a world that he can't understand.

And as if that weren't enough, here some of the people that America won't miss as they fade into the post-Trump ether: Mike Pence, Bill Barr, Steve Mnuchin, Betsy DeVos, Kayleigh McEnany, Rudy Giuliani, Kellyanne Conway, Stephen Miller, Jared Kushner, and of course, Ivanka, Don, and Eric Trump. All of the above is just the tip of the iceberg. And it is all sinking into obscurity. So good riddance to every last bit of it.

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