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'We need a president who will care more about living Americans and less about dead Confederates'

3 min read

Washington Gov. Jay Inslee appeared on Face the Nation this morning, and he made some good points. The first being that an American president should probably be more concerned about the lives of our citizens than the memories of traitors who rose up against the legitimate government of the United States so they could continue enslaving human beings.

Because, duh.



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INSLEE: “We had sort of a bipartisan consensus here, people were pulling together. The moment Donald Trump tweeted that he wanted to liberate Michigan from the health messages of Gov. [Gretchen] Whitmer, the moment he did that, all of a sudden people wearing MAGA hats decided they didn’t want to help out as much. And that has been very, very damaging. We need a president who’ll be fully committed to a message of health. You know, and instead of tweeting the other day about the importance of masks, he tweeted about monuments. Now, we need a president who will care more about living Americans and less about dead Confederates. This has an enormous impact, and if we can get everybody wearing a MAGA hat to wear a mask, we’re going to tame this virus because this masking is very, very effective. And I do want to reiterate, this is the way to open our economy. If that’s all people cared about, if we get people to mask up and we can reopen our economy, that would be a good day for everybody.”

Okay, but a mask won’t conceal a lobotomy scar like a MAGA hat does, so it may take some convincing. But I get his point.

Then again, when it comes to Trump, the Occam’s Lazy Boy principle always applies. Trump will always, always, always take the easiest and most direct path to personal gratification. Screaming about statues on Twitter is a fuckuvalot easier — and far more gratifying (to him, anyway) — than tackling a pandemic that Trump has already decided is boring and unfair to His Majesty. And, bonus: It will rile his base. 

You see, fighting for the right to indiscriminately hork up freedom phlegm at Buffalo Wild Wings is all about LIBERTY. And honoring 19th century traitors who fought to keep people under a cruel yoke of oppression is also about, uh … LIBERTY? 

Wait, that doesn’t sound right.

Of course, of all the stupid things Trump has done — and all the things he’s stupidly neglected to do — since the coronavirus pandemic got underway, signaling to his rabid nest of disease vectors that masks are for nerds and losers has to be No. 1 on the dipshit list. 

Even if he’d done everything else right, the mask thing would have undermined most if not all of his administration’s efforts.

But, sadly, he’s screwed up just about everything that could be screwed up. And he continues to do it.

How many more Americans will needlessly die before he’s rousted out of his bunker in January?

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!

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