I’ll just get this out of the way at the outset. I doubt that Donald Trump will ever go to prison. It’s just too hard to imagine a former U.S. president breaking rocks — or whatever the equivalent for a bone spur-riddled silver spoon might be. Crocheting doilies, maybe? I don’t know.
That said, it could happen — and if there were any justice, it would happen. And I’m not the only one saying that.
Nick Akerman, a former Watergate prosecutor, joined CNN’s Erin Burnett a few days ago, and boy is he making me giddy as all get-out.
AKERMAN: “What Nixon did was essentially back-date one deed for a gift of papers to the United States government. He did that when Congress had eliminated that deduction. He basically created a phony deed. It looks like Trump has done a whole series of activities that could qualify as tax fraud, not tax avoidance. This is a very important distinction. The New York Times headline read ‘Trump’s tax avoidance,’ but there’s a key difference with tax fraud. Tax avoidance is simply taking the tax code and getting the most deductions you can get under the code. That’s perfectly legal. Tax fraud, however, is lying about what your income was, lying about what your deductions are, and there’s a couple of items that just stand out in that report from The New York Times that really appear go beyond tax avoidance. The most glaring one is this one on the consulting fees — some $747,622 that The New York Times was able to tie into payments that went to Trump’s daughter Ivanka. There’s no reason, legitimate reason, for her to get those consulting fees since she was being paid already as a Trump employee. The only possible reason for doing this was somehow to move money around so that it wouldn’t be taxed to Donald Trump but would in effect go on Ivanka Trump’s tax return, who probably had certain losses that she could take against it. So in the end, the government gets zero dollars.”
BURNETT: “But when you lay this out, I guess just a blunt question is, do you think Trump could end up going to jail if he is not reelected because of anything in here?”
AKERMAN: “No question about it, and his daughter could go to jail, too. Tax evasion is a five-year felony. It’s a pretty serious crime, and the more money that’s stolen, the longer you go to jail for.”
BURNETT: “So you’re saying if he loses, he, also Ivanka Trump and others in his family could be at risk?”
AKERMAN: ”Sure, absolutely. I mean, the only thing that’s saving him at this point is the Department of Justice’s guideline that says you can’t indict a sitting president. Once he’s no longer a sitting president he is subject to being indicted. I mean, I think any decent prosecutor looking at this evidence will be able to put together a pretty viable tax case. I mean, that’s exactly what the DA’s office is doing in New York at this point. I mean, this kind of shows you what they’re looking at.”
Like I said, I’m skeptical about whether Trump will ever spend a day in prison, but this guy is an expert, and HE APPEARS TO DISAGREE WITH ME!
I’ve never wanted to be wrong so much in my life — with the possible exception of that time I thought I had scurvy because all I ever ate was Fiddle Faddle.
So, yes, we can dream, can’t we? And in my dream Joe Biden becomes president, the Trump crime family languishes in prison, and Mitch McConnell Brundle-Flies with an actual reptile and is put on permanent display at the Creation Museum in Kentucky.
Frankly, I’ll be happy with two out of the three.
“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!