'Twas The Fight Before Christmas


'Twas the fight before Christmas, and in the White House,

The dotard was pissed off, and starting to grouse;

“I want Wall” he pouted, then reached for his phone,

And tweeted his Twit-sters, misspelling “unnown”.

Chuck and Nancy were nestled, all snug in their beds;

While dreams of majorities danced in their heads.

drumpf's tweeting woke Nancy, who grabbed her ball bat,

And Chuck, eyes all bleary, sat up with a snap.

“Like hell you'll have Wall” they shouted together,

And flew off to swat Trump, Dem birds of a feather.

Away to the White House they flew as they swore,

Tore through the North Portico, bashed open the door.

The light of Trump's Android illumined within,

A fat ass ogre with pocked facial skin.

Nancy said “drumpf! If you want Wall, then let's vote!”

(The Repubs had gone home, rats deserting a boat).

Drumpf knew he was cornered so, lively and quick,

He jabbed at his buzzer and summoned his Mick.

“Mulvaney! Nancy's got my balls in her purse!”

Call them back! Call them back!” He screamed with a curse!

“Call,Gohmert ! Call McCarthy ! Call Issa, Lobiondo !

Call,Gowdy ! Call Ryan and Dave Lott Call Costello !

“Get them back for a vote! A vote damn it all!”

Nancy's unmanned me, but I must have my Wall!”

As a turd that before the loosed fire-hose scurries,

Mulvaney gulped once and then fled in a hurry.

To his office he flew like a fake deficit hawk,

To snag votes to buy drumpf's boys out of hock.

Then, in a twinkling, they all heard at the door,

General Mattis, all pissed off, burst in with a roar.

“drumpf you're a coward! And a traitor dog too!”

If it weren't for my stars, I'd hide you black and blue!

Jim, in his dress Greens, ribbons align on his breast,

Glared at drumpf as he would a crotch crawly pest.

His resignation he threw at drumpf with a smack!

And said “explain this one, you Russ loving hack!”

His eyes—how they bulged! And fists were each hand!

Hie turned to Nancy saying – “Let's blow this Popsicle stand.”

Their droll little mouths each drew up like a bow,

As they donned their Ray-Bans and took Chuckie in tow;

Nancy's heels clacked as she cinched up her fly frock,

Mattis called to put the Nuke football under lock.

Dumbass drumpf was despondent, so turned on his tellie,

Tuning into Fox News turning his brain into jelly.

Mulvaney kept calling for votes for the Wall,

But Nance had thrown drumpf's nuts on the Mall.

With a wink of her eye and a twist of her head,

She leaned in to Jim and Chuck and she said –

“Let's go to the Cap Lounge for a drink.”

“Dealing with that toddler drives me to the brink”.

Mattis declined but he gave them both a clue –

“I'd better stay sober – we're planning a coup.”

He sprang to his Escalade, gave his driver his hat.

And ordered quite loudly, “To the Pentagon STAT!”

But they heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

Happy Christmas to all, Gawd I love a good fight!”

I decided to up this early, in case anyone wanted to share it tomorrow.