Trump's Super Bowl ad comes in dead last in audience ranking

Everyone loved Bill Murray reprising his role as Phil Connors in Groundhog Day.

Everyone hated Trump.

USA Today’s Ad Meter, which tabulates consumer ratings, has been running its Super Bowl ad rankings since 1989. This year, Trump’s campaign ad was ranked as the worst.

The second-least favorite? This commercial for pretzel Pop-Tarts. Yes, pretzel Pop-Tarts are more popular than the president of the United States. Not coincidentally, a pretzel Pop-Tart would also be a much better president, because it has more dignity and gravitas and doesn't necessarily have to be thoroughly toasted before breakfast. (You know, because Trump sprinkles Adderall on his pancakes. Or so I’ve heard.) 

Jeep’s Groundhog Day commercial received a 7.01 overall rating, just edging out the second-place finisher, Hyundai’s “Smaht Pahk,” which nabbed a 6.98 rating.

Trump’s “Criminal Justice Reform” — which includes at least one quasi-lie, of course — got a 3.33 ranking.

Michael Bloomberg’s campaign ad “George” came in third last, but nevertheless scored .9 of a point higher than Trump’s ad while garnering 4.4 million YouTube views to Trump’s paltry 148,000.

So Bloomberg is not only far richer and thinner than Trump, people like his ads better. Someone please let Trump know immediately.

The full list of ad ratings can be found here.

My favorite? I don’t really know. I spent much of the night toking my own “super bowl” and wasn’t paying close attention. I heard the team from Kansas won, though.

Is Trump’s disgusting, tumescent blob of a head getting you down? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing can help! Find it at Amazon, along with its sequels, Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief.

  • February 3, 2020