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Trump's reading of the Christmas story is the weirdest thing you'll see this holiday

2 min read

Why does it feel like Trump is hearing the Christmas story for the first time as he reads this? Tell me I’m wrong.



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Judging by the sulky, irascible tenor in his voice and the baleful look on his tanned hog’s bladder of a face, my guess is Trump is super constipated in this video. It looks like he’s been waiting to open the bomb bay doors longer than ancient Judea was waiting for a messiah. 

And nice touch including Melania, who we already know doesn’t give a fuck about Christmas …

Seriously, though, Trump looks more like he wants to scream feckless threats at Bobby “The Brain” Heenan than mumble all this baby Jesus stuff. I’m surprised he got through this without smacking a member of the camera crew in the back of the head with a folding chair.

But at least he’s consistent. This bleak and churlish message of Christmas hope-like substance is brought to you by the same guy who just tossed a frag grenade into the middle of our nation’s COVID relief efforts. 

In other words, here’s the official holiday fuck-you to go along with POTUS’ selfish, irresponsible, and likely vengeful actions.

But fuck that guy. He’s going to be gone soon.

Here’s a better way to celebrate Christmas than listening to the weirdo-in-chief:

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, all! It’s a wonderful season, but this winter my favorite holiday will be Inauguration Day.

I better get my shopping started early, because I know I won’t be the only one celebrating.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!

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