Last updated on December 28, 2020
Why does it feel like Trump is hearing the Christmas story for the first time as he reads this? Tell me I’m wrong.
Judging by the sulky, irascible tenor in his voice and the baleful look on his tanned hog’s bladder of a face, my guess is Trump is super constipated in this video. It looks like he’s been waiting to open the bomb bay doors longer than ancient Judea was waiting for a messiah.
And nice touch including Melania, who we already know doesn’t give a fuck about Christmas …
Seriously, though, Trump looks more like he wants to scream feckless threats at Bobby “The Brain” Heenan than mumble all this baby Jesus stuff. I’m surprised he got through this without smacking a member of the camera crew in the back of the head with a folding chair.
But at least he’s consistent. This bleak and churlish message of Christmas hope-like substance is brought to you by the same guy who just tossed a frag grenade into the middle of our nation’s COVID relief efforts.
In other words, here’s the official holiday fuck-you to go along with POTUS’ selfish, irresponsible, and likely vengeful actions.
But fuck that guy. He’s going to be gone soon.
Here’s a better way to celebrate Christmas than listening to the weirdo-in-chief:
Merry Christmas and happy holidays, all! It’s a wonderful season, but this winter my favorite holiday will be Inauguration Day.
I better get my shopping started early, because I know I won’t be the only one celebrating.
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!
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