Oh, look! It’s the actual president of the United States turning a worldwide pandemic into a personal grievance session! (Second tweet)


REPORTER: The bill that is being contemplated by the Senate right now has a fund that has hundreds of billions of dollars for the Treasury Department to use to bail out states and localities as well as specific industries such as cruise [lines] and hotels. Will you commit publicly that none of that taxpayer money will go toward your own personal properties?

TRUMP: Every time I do it — like, for instance, I committed publicly that I wouldn’t take the $450,000 salary. It’s a lot of money, whether you’re rich or not. It’s a lot of money. And I did it, nobody cared. Nobody said thank you. Nobody said thank you very much. Now, I didn’t commit legally, I just said I don’t want it. I don’t want my salary. I work for zero. I don’t want my salary. Nobody said, ‘Oh, thank you very much.’ But I guarantee you, if I ever took it, you would go out after me, you in particular would go out after me like crazy. So I have no idea what they’re talking about with regard to the one (unintelligible). Everything is changing, just so you understand. It’s all changing. But I have no idea. But every time I commit to do something. I committed to do … Look, I ran, and everybody knew I was a rich person. I built a great company. And people knew that. But I agreed to do things. I didn’t have to. I still don’t have to. But my company, I told the kids who are running it, I’m not running it. But I told them, don’t deal with foreign companies. Don’t deal … I didn’t have to do that. I could have just ran and I didn’t have to do that at all. And instead of being thanked for, again, not agreeing to do it but just for not doing it, I get excoriated all the time. So I’ve learned, let’s just see what happens, because we have to save some of these great companies.

Uh, you could have just said no.

And he’s not dealing with foreign companies? Yeah, that’s not true at all. Maybe he should tell Don Jr. and Eric again, because I don’t think they’re too bright.

Also …

Trump crying at world series

Aaaaannnnndddd … $450,000 is not a lot of money compared to what Trump has spent on golf and what he’s taken in emoluments. It’s just the cost of scamming people — like giving them their first bottle of magical elixir for free to get them in on a shady pyramid scheme. 

Finally — dude! You went on for four minutes about how grateful we should all be that you aren’t siphoning half a million out of the national treasury that we’re all watching bleed out before our eyes because you couldn’t be bothered to plan anything. Meanwhile, people are dying. Focus!

So forgive me if I’m not ready to kiss your ring, Pope Bent-dick.


Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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