Trump won't pardon Erdoğan, even if he pardons Turkey

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a startling break with Thanksgiving tradition, Donald J. Trump refused to pardon the White House turkey after claiming that it was working as a secret operative of the billionaire George Soros.

A group of fourth graders from Bethesda, Maryland, who had gathered on the White House lawn for the annual turkey-pardoning ceremony appeared unprepared for the anti-Soros outburst that Trump unleashed on the Thanksgiving bird.

“That turkey was sent by Soros to spy on me,” Trump said, angrily turning on the fowl. “A lot of people are saying this.”…

Two weeks ago Sen. Lindsey Graham went from a White House meeting with Donald Trump and Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to the floor of the United States Senate to hastily block a bipartisan resolution formally recognizing Turkey’s genocide against Armenians just over 100 years ago.

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