Trump will resume MAGA rallies 'in the next two weeks'

The MAGA rallies will resume until morale improves … or MAGAs start dropping like flies.

Donald Trump has lately been jonesing for his rallies because 1) he loves the mirroring he gets from other racists and 2) rambling incoherently and telling silly lies are pretty much the only things he’s good at.

Well, surprise! The rallies are returning before COVID-19 has left the building. In fact, they’re set to return in the next two weeks, according to a report in Politico

The president has been itching to resume his boisterous rallies, his favorite way to connect with supporters and let off steam. He's planning to use the events to drive home what is expected to be a major theme of his campaign: that he is the leader of the country’s reopening and economic rebound. Trump held a hastily-called press conference Friday to celebrate an unexpectedly strong jobs report, and his campaign immediately began running a massive ad campaign seizing on the news.
“Americans are ready to get back to action and so is President Trump. The great American comeback is real and the rallies will be tremendous,” Parscale said in a statement. “You’ll again see the kind of crowds and enthusiasm that sleepy Joe Biden can only dream of.”

So what’s the Trump campaign slogan going to be now? “Make America Great Again, Again — We Mean It This Time”? Or maybe “Trump 2020: Whatever Doesn’t Kill You Will Kill You Next Term.”

Of course, this is a bad idea for a lot of reasons — not least of which is the continued prevalence and virulence of the novel coronavirus.

But Trump and Co. think they’ve solved that problem:

While Trump is likely to face blowback for resuming in-person events while the coronavirus pandemic is still ravaging the country, his advisers contend that the recent massive protests in metropolitan areas will make it harder for liberals to criticize him.

1) Yes, fighting against racism is exactly the same thing as fighting for racism. Sure. 

2) The MAGA crowd almost certainly won’t be social distancing or wearing masks, even as the Trump spittle flies like watermelon detritus at a Gallagher concert. Because Trump thinks masks are for losers and nerds, and Trump’s fans think whatever Trump thinks.

3) Well, as long as liberals can’t criticize you for it, yes, by all means, kill your voters.

I have a feeling this will end badly. The coronavirus hasn’t disappeared, after all. The only thing that’s really changed is our focus on it. And, again, Trump is showing that his desperate need to be acknowledged and to win reelection supersedes the health and very lives of his own followers, whom he very clearly hates.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!