Trump: U.S. has done more testing than any other nation 'by far'; reality: uh, no …

This is a little like Exxon saying it’s scrubbed crude oil off far more ducks than all the wind turbine manufacturers in the world combined.

I have some thoughts on this.

1) Fine. Does he also brag about wearing a condom during every nap after having spent God knows how many years having unprotected sex with porn stars?

2) Donald Trump has done more lying than any other world leader, by far.

3) According to White House coronavirus task force coordinator Dr. Deborah Birx, the U.S. has done more than 300,000 tests and South Korea has done 290,000. So “by far” isn’t really how any reasonable person would put it. Also, you literally can’t believe a thing this administration says.

4) The United States’ population is more than six times that of South Korea, so we’ve done far fewer tests than South Korea per capita.

5) South Korea’s curve will soon be flatter than Trump’s head. Ours looks like Stephen Miller’s penis when his wife dresses up as an ICE agent and tells him stories about separated families.

6) Why is “testing” in quotation marks. Are these not real tests? 

7) The horse is out of the barn, as this video clearly demonstrates:

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I’ve never seen anyone brag this much about his own incompetence. 

“Donny didn’t test, now corona’s in my chest.”

Okay, maybe that’s not as good as “Bush lied, people died.” I’ll keep workshopping it.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.