Trump trashes everyone, so why did he defend alleged campaign finance crook John Edwards?

Back in 2012, former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards was on trial for allegedly using nearly $1 million in campaign donations to conceal an affair from voters. Prosecutors claimed he used the money, which he received from two deep-pocketed donors, in order to influence the 2008 primaries by paying the expenses of his mistress, Rielle Hunter, with whom he’d had a child.

Pretty sleazy stuff — and what we can now retroactively refer to as “pulling a Trump.”

So how did Trump react to the case? Although loudly demanding Democrats be sent to prison is kind of a hobby of his, for some reason he thought prosecutors should just let this one go. The reason? The country had bigger problems to worry about — as if prosecuting a campaign finance violator would have prevented America from passing an infrastructure bill or something.


I know Trump didn’t have a guilty conscience because, I mean, come on. So was it possible he knew his own actions left him open to the same kind of legal trouble in the future, prompting him to preemptively declare that this wasn’t really a crime at all?

By the looks of it, Trump has been paying off mistresses for years. Wouldn’t it be in his own best interest to say there’s nothing to see here?

Now Trump is facing legal problems similar to the ones Edwards faced. According to his former fixer Michael Cohen, Trump directed Cohen to pay off Trump’s mistresses Karen McDougal and Stormy Daniels in order to influence the 2016 election.

Sounds like a campaign finance violation to me.

Probably does to Trump, too. But hey, doesn’t the government have more important things to focus on?


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.

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