“I want you to do me a favor, though.”

Attention blue states! If you want your people to live, be more racist!

So Donald Trump, because he’s an irredeemable asshole, apparently wants states to follow his racist lead on sanctuary cities before they can expect to receive federal aid as a part of COVID-19 relief efforts.


While speaking in the White House East Room at an event to highlight small businesses impacted by the CARES Act Paycheck Protection Program, the president told reporters he had discussed the matter with Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and said that he and congressional Republicans were not “looking to recover 25 years of bad management and to give them the money that they lost” because it would be “unfair to other states,” but later conceded: “I guess we can talk about it” if such an aid package was related to the COVID-19 pandemic.

“But we’d want certain things also, including sanctuary city adjustments, because we have so many people in sanctuary cities, which I don’t even think are popular, even by radical left folks,” Trump continued. “What’s happening is people are being protected that shouldn’t be protected and a lot of bad things are happening with sanctuary cities.”

He added that in addition to concessions on sanctuary cities, his administration would want “something having to do with other different points that we can discuss later on.”

I can’t state this strongly enough, Mr. Sweet Potato Head: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkk yooooooouuuuuuuu, assssssssshhhhhhhhoooooooollllllle!

Blue states have been bailing out red states for-fucking-ever. As a rule, we send far more tax dollars to the government than we get back in federal support. Our economies are strong in part because we welcome the contributions of immigrants. 

Is this really the time to be holding our own money hostage just so Stephen Miller can continue to get an erection? There’s this whole pandemic thing that you totally dry-humped into runny Jell-O. Maybe try to make amends instead of trying to slip through some more racist policies in exchange for not killing our doctors, nurses, and small businesses. Think you can handle that? No, of course you can’t. 

P.S.: Fuck you.


Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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