Trump: The bookies called the election for me on election night!

I don’t know if it’s possible to smell desperation — much less smell it through your computer — but you should take a whiff of this nonetheless:

This is a remarkably sad tweet, but more importantly — spoiler alert! — it’s not true.

From a November 4 New York Times story about the wild election night fluctuations in the betting markets:

Events were moving quickly. “The markets were twitching constantly,” Watt said. By 10 p.m., Trump was the favorite, with a 56 percent chance of winning. By 11, he was up to 69 percent.

Those odds are based on the best prices available. But, of course, some bookmakers vary in one direction or another, based in part on the bets they have accepted. The rush to Trump was so great that at one point a few bookies were offering odds as long as 6-1 or 7-1 to Biden bettors, meaning their $1 bet would return $6 or $7. The odds implied that Trump had as much as an 85 percent chance of winning.

Of course, this guy has insisted for weeks that the media don’t determine the election winner, and now he’s leaning on the betting markets for some psychic relief because his wee mind can’t brook any interruption in his barmy “I am a golden god” narrative. Frankly, it’s the most pathetic thing I’ve seen since my brother Karl upended our Risk board after accusing me of hiding army tokens in a Hello Kitty balloon up my ass. (I was doing that, but he had absolutely no evidence.) 

Also, many of the people who participate in the political betting markets are plain bonkers, as evidenced by this:

— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) November 26, 2020

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Guess bettors were banking on Trump’s preternatural ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat — even though he’s hardly ever done that.

But, hey, reality no longer matters in TrumpWorld. In fact, engaging with reality will get you fired.

Unfortunately for Trump, reality is about to hit him square in his disgraceful face. 

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!