The little man just can’t stand the idea of another president making money. In this case, a former president.

Ever since the black man had the temerity to get himself elected president in Fred Trump’s America, Donald Trump has had it in for him. You might say he’s been single white female-ing Obama — except he’s not single (not yet, anyway), female, or white, really. But “adulterer orange crybaby-ing” doesn’t have quite the same ring.

Anyway, for some reason, Donald Trump thinks Congress should investigate Obama’s book and Netflix deals — which Obama signed long after leaving the White House — instead of Trump’s ongoing grift, wherein he eagerly and brazenly accepts favors from foreign entities in the form of hotel fees and diverts gobs of U.S. military cash to Scotland to prop up his failing golf resort there.


It doesn’t work that way? Is he saying he thought he got away with his crimes years ago, so everyone else should just forget about them too?

And there’s a big difference between a former president signing a lucrative deal with a going concern and a current president potentially selling foreign policy to the highest bidder.

Trump should have put his assets in a blind trust the moment he was inaugurated. But he didn’t, and for Congress to ignore that fact would be malpractice.

Maybe Trump hates the Obama book deal because he thinks it allows him to unfairly influence the nation’s large reading demographic, which Trump has been unable to reach.

Who knows? All I know is he acts the way I used to on my brother’s birthday when he got a bigger piece of cake than I did. But I was 4. I’ve gotten over it. When will Trump?

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

  • September 16, 2019