Trump says his COVID lies are just like Churchill's actions during the London bombings

Sure, why not? Trump telling Americans outright lies about their vulnerability to a killer virus is just like Churchill trying to calm the British people during World War II. EXACTLY like it. And if you disagree, you clearly have Trump Derangement Syndrome.

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— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) September 11, 2020

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TRUMP: “As the British government advised the British people in the face of World War II, keep calm and carry on. That’s what I did. This wackjob that wrote the book, he said, ‘Well, Trump knew a little bit.’ And they wanted me to come out and scream, ‘People are dying, we’re dying!’ No, no. We did it just the right way. We have to be calm. We don’t want to be crazed lunatics. We have to lead. When Hitler was bombing, I don’t know if you know this, when Hitler was bombing London, Churchill, a great leader, would oftentimes go to a roof in London and speak, and he always spoke with calmness. He said, ‘We have to show calmness.’ No, we did it the right way. And we’ve done a job like nobody.”

Yeah, you’ve done a job like nobody, all right.

Show of hands. Who wanted Trump to come out and scream, “People are dying, we’re dying!”?

I didn’t think so.

And, yes, Winston Churchill handled the German Blitz exactly how Trump handled the coronavirus. Especially the part where Churchill said, “The Nazis will go away in April, with the heat.”

Jesus Christ, I’m gonna need a weed enema before this is all over.

Good gourd, you won’t believe this. Two of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s books are now available for 99 cents apiece! Lasso copies of Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 Letters to Donald Trump for this comically low price (later today the price goes up to $1.99). And, as always, you can get your copy of Dear F*cking Lunatic and preorder the final installment, Goodbye, Asshat.