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Trump says he may build his presidential library on one of his own properties

3 min read

Because why should he stop grifting us all just because he’s out office? 

I didn’t watch the entire Donald Trump/Chuck Todd interview because I’d scheduled a colonoscopy. I wasn’t due for one, but it seemed preferable to watching this, and the horse vet was able to squeeze me in at the last minute. So to speak.

But I have watched clips and read excerpts.

Somehow, amid the raging tempest of shart-slurping crazy, this bit slipped under the radar:


TODD: Have you thought about a presidential library?

TRUMP: I’m so busy, I know a lot of people mention it to me, the presidential library. I’m so busy …

TODD: Do you know where yet you’d want it?

TRUMP: I have a lot of locations, actually. 

TODD: I know you do.

TRUMP: The nice part, I don’t have to worry about buying a location.

TODD: Would you want it at one of your properties?

TRUMP: I’ve been treated so great in Florida, you know the win in Florida. I’ve been treated so great in so many states.

TODD: I take it you’d want your library where your people would go.

TRUMP: Well, my people are going to a lot of different places. My people are great. I think somebody said, I read this morning, I had the greatest base ever in politics, and I really believe that.

A few notes:

  1. You are not busy, Tweets McGee. Sell that twaddle someplace else.
  2. Maybe they can put his presidential library in that Ark Adventure theme park. They need the business, and it’s the same customer base.
  3. After an arsonist burns down your house without permission and then sends you a bill to cover his per diem, you sure as hell don’t want to keep paying him extra fees for the rest of his life.
  4. Why would there be a Trump presidential library? Way to confuse his followers. “Let’s see, it says ‘Trump’ on it, but it also says ‘library.’” It’s like having Larry the Cable Guy open for the Vienna Philharmonic.
  5. Is Mike Pence physically shrinking? He looks like the third Russian nesting doll down from Original Mike Pence. Does one’s body shrink in lockstep with one’s soul?

Sadly, Trump is lowering the bar so much, we may never recover. President Camacho would actually be a marked improvement at this point.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

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