Noooooooooooo!

That is some prodigious perspicacity on the part of BLOATUS. (Sorry, alliteration aficionados. I prefer “BLOATUS” to “POTUS.” So suck a sack of silly string.)

NBC News:

The president has been complaining to aides and allies about his personal attorney Rudy Giuliani and recently-removed lawyer Sidney Powell’s over-the-top performances at a news conference at the Republican National Committee headquarters last week, these people said. Both Giuliani and Powell have continued to make conspiratorial and baseless claims about widespread voter fraud, for which they have provided no evidence.

The president is concerned his team is comprised of “fools that are making him look bad,” said one source familiar with the thinking. Asked why he would not fire them, this person replied, in essence, who knows?

Who knows? I think I know. These are the only idiots willing to work for him. It’s not like esteemed attorneys are lining up in droves to stand next to Rudy Giuliani’s Deepwater Horizon head.

And about that …

The president grew less impressed with Powell over the weekend, as she continued to make outlandish comments, including falsely accusing Georgia’s Republican governor and its secretary of state of being part of a scheme to alter votes.

Trump was also not pleased with the optics of the brown substance, presumed to be hair dye or a makeup product, dripping down Giuliani’s face during the nearly two-hour news conference Thursday, according to one of the sources familiar with the president’s reaction.

Oh, he noticed that, huh? Well, when you hitch your star to Rudy Giuliani’s wagon, you take the bad with the … more bad. I didn’t expect rivulets of fudgy embarrassment to course down Rudy’s face during one of the most important press conferences of his career, but I wasn’t exactly surprised, either. It was super on-brand, really. At this point, Trump would get better legal advice from an Adderall hallucination. And probably does, come to think of it.

Thank God the first coup attempt by a sitting president has been this shambolic and, frankly, stupid. Not sure we’ll be so lucky next time. It’s time to Trump-proof our democracy. 

Any suggestions?

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!