Trump promises new Iran deal 'within four weeks' … if he's reelected

President Vaporware is at it again.

As with the “great” health care plan he assured us would replace Obamacare “immediately”; the elimination of the entire national debt in eight years; the big, beautiful wall Mexico was supposed to pay for; and a newly great America that never quite seemed to materialize, Trump is digging in his front pants pocket for all the goodies he’ll show us just as soon as we crawl into the windowless white van that is his reelection campaign.

Now he says he’s going to strike a deal with Iran to replace the Obama-era agreement he stupidly shredded in 2018 — a move that just about guaranteed Iran would restart its nuclear weapons program, which … oh, hey, wow … it did

The Hill:

President Trump promised supporters at a campaign fundraiser in New Jersey that he would reach a quick deal with Iran if reelected.

“When we win,” Trump said in a video from the fundraiser on Sunday shared by a Jewish Insider reporter, “we will have a deal within four weeks.”

Some members of the crowd rose to their feet and cheered after Trump's remarks.

Holy shit, Trump supporters will believe anything. They might as well blow their money at a Trump fundraiser lest they spend it all at a carnival trying to knock down 120-pound milk bottles with a Nerf ball.

Trump promised a new Iran deal to supporters at the house of his late friend Stanley Chera, who died due to complications with COVID-19 in April, according to the Asbury Park Press.

In video, attendees at the outdoor fundraiser did not wear masks.

Yeah, of course they didn’t wear masks. They’re dumb enough to give Donald Trump money, right? Why the fuck would they wear masks?



Of course, it goes without saying that you’ve already asked yourself this question, but I’ll pose it anyway: If Donald Trump has some brilliant secret plan to mollify Iran and bring it to the negotiating table, why isn’t he doing that now? He has to get in that 300th golf game before his punch card expires?

Anyone who votes for this guy based on some amorphous promise of future Trumpian miracles deserves what they get. But we don’t deserve it. For God’s sake, can’t we make this nightmare end?

Oh, we can?

Yes, we can!

Go (help) Joe.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!