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Trump offers condolences like an alien reptile-man would

WTF is this, Kodos?


Highest condolences from the Supreme Regent of Altair IV to the symbiotic podmates of the fallen Earthli … er, brave American soldiers!

He is so, so, so, so, so, so, sooooooo fucking bad at this. Does this have anything to do with the soldiers being (presumably) Hispanic?

Can we have someone else in the administration handle anything having to do with sincere human emotion? Where have you gone, Barack Obama? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

(And, no, I’m not trying to make light of this tragedy — unless you mean the tragedy with the overlong red tie that’s embarrassing us in Europe as we speak.)

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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