I used to get teased at school because my ears stuck out. Of course, I was 5 — and the people making fun of me were neither septuagenarians nor the president of the United States.
Eventually, my head grew into my ears and I got over it. And my bullies probably stopped hectoring vulnerable, sensitive people because, well, they’re adults now.
But Donald Trump is special.
The Times, citing two officials, reported that Trump called Randolph “Tex” Alles the name while making fun of his looks. The Times also reported Monday that Trump soured on Alles “a while ago.”
The White House announced Monday that Alles is being replaced by James M. Murray as director of the Secret Service.
Alles joins Janet Yellen and John Bolton, who were at one time or another deemed unfit to serve our country because Trump thought they were funny lookin’. (Eventually, of course, Bolton won Trump over with his unblemished record of cartoonish evil.)
Of course, I can kind of see where Trump is coming from. Personally, I never thought an ambulatory meatloaf would be our president, and it’s frankly kind of gross. But we can’t fire him just for looking like a flaming cylinder of shit. Not for a couple more years, anyway.
“Fabulous!” “Hysterically funny!” “Cathartic!” These are just a few of the many accolades from readers of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump. And now, the long-awaited sequel is here! Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the digital press and available as a $2.99 download from Amazon. Buy there, or be square. (And while you’re doing that, grab yourself a copy of The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President, also from AJP.