Hey, let’s have a sing-along! Come on everybody! “A vote for Martha is a vote for me!” “A vote for Ron DeSantis is a vote for me!” :A vote for Dean Heller is a vote for me!” “I know that my name isn’t on the ballot in 2018, but when you stop to think about it, in a way it is!”
Whether the Republican party likes it or not (and most of them don’t), El Pendejo Presidente is going to make this 2018 midterm election all about him. And you know, it’s kind of funny in a way. In normal circumstances, you would think that Republicans would love to make this all about Trump, because then they could blame him for their piss poor performance for the last two years. But they can’t, because not a single one of them has the courage of a small boy to shout out, “Why is the Emperor walking around naked, and why is his dick smaller than mine?” So instead, they end up standing on a stage next to a guy who looks like he should be wearing a grimy raincoat.
As delusional as Trump may be, apparently somebody in the west wing with a $1 Store calculator has shown him some numbers, because he’s hedging his bets. In multiple interviews, His Lowness has basically said, “The midterms are all about me, but if this thing goes south next week, it won’t be my fault that we got shitty candidates.” This kind of a circle is going to be kind of hard for even Trump to square, even with his own supporters, since it sounds suspiciously like their kid telling them, “That ball was going to hit the wall Dad, I swear it, but then the neighbor’s window moved!”
Trump is on his hind legs to try to staunch the bleeding. He’s holding 11 rallies in the last six days of the campaign. But where is he holding them? He’s holding them in the safest, reddest, Trumpiest places he can find, places where his presence shouldn’t be needed. He’s doing this because vulnerable House incumbents would have the Mayor declare the city under quarantine if Trump tried to land Air Force 1 there. And even this won’t help, because Trump is endorsing his favorites, whether they like it or not, by Twitter. No place to run, no place to hide.
Suddenly, I’m finding myself at the 11th hour with a new criteria for watching the election results next Tuesday night. I’m not going to be watching just to see how many seats flip, I’m going to be watching where they flip. Because, to my mind, that’s where the real action is going to be, and the leading indicators for what 2020 may portend. Trump wants to make this all about him? Fine, let’s make it all about him, right in his backyard.
In Florida, which Trump boasts endlessly about winning in 2016, Ron DeSantis wants to be the next Governor. He debased himself and his family by basically brainwashing his toddlers with Trump propaganda is a TV ad, but the cameraman wouldn’t let him sport his MAGA BVD;s on camera, it was too gross. Yet Democrat Andrew Gillum is batting DeSantis around like a kitten with a ball of yarn, and apparently giving vulnerable Senator Bill Nelson a ride on his coattails.
Iowa congressman Steve King belongs to the same grupen as Donald Trump, they communicate with each other by secret Nazi decoder rings. But when King said that Austrian Nazis would be Republicans if they lived in the US, the NRCC finally had enough, and officially pulled all support for him (of which they were providing next to none) cuz, ya know, the truth hurts? King is in a deep red district, but a rural one, where the local paper endorsing the Democrat could make a last minute difference, and a recent poll showed his Democratic challenger within 1 point.
Beto O’Rourke should not be within 5 points of Ted Cruz in Texas, and I don’t care how much money he’s raised. Trump under performed in Texas in 2016, winning the state by only 9 points, and Cruz is currently under performing even Trump! What does that say. O’Rourke is still my dark horse favorite for 2018, simply because he used his rallies as voter registration drives, and I think there’s a major source of unreported Democratic votes hiding down there. Besides, Cruz basically rolled over on his back and let Trump skritch him on the tummy on a stage last week, and I don’t think that Texans have much respect for a Texan that doesn’t stand up to bullying despots. They’re kind of proud of the Alamo down there.
This is my personal favorite. I just heard yesterday that the Republicans are pumping $80,000 into South Carolina to help out poor little Katie Arrington. In freakin’ South Carolina?!? Are you kidding me? What does it say when a guy who isn’t named Trump deserting his state to have a fling in Argentina could have a better chance of holding a seat than a card carrying Trombie?
This is happening all over Trump country folks. Stacey Abrams wants to straighten out the voting rights mess in Georgia. Dana Rohrabacher may soon have the time to open up a borscht themed restaurant, Devin Nunes is actually having to run farther than the fridge for a beer for a change, and Trump is even having to stop over in bloody Utah to try to salvage a House seat. There are two more seats in Iowa that are ripe for the plucking, and Scooter Walker’s problems in Wisconsin may finally catch up with the GOP there.
Trump wanted the 2018 midterms to be all about him? Well, he’s getting his wish, in spades. And like the old saying goes, “You better be careful what you wish for.” Especially since a pathetic GOP showing in places that were thought of as being solidly “Trump Country” might just convince somebody like John Kasich that there may just be an opening there to make a kamikaze run to save conservatism in 2020. Don’t touch that dial.
The wait is over! Volume two of the trilogy, President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange is now available. Amazon is whining about me crashing their site, but the hell with them, I ain't in this for their health. You can also find volume one, President Evil as well. And fear not, work on volume three is just beginning.’
Follow me on Twitter at @RealMurfster35
Joseph “Murfster35” Murphy is a lifelong liberal political junkie. Being born and raised in Chicago, he is no stranger to bare-knuckle politics.