January 22, 2021

The Politicus

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Trump has told aides he wants to pardon himself, and he reportedly enjoyed the scenes of rioting

Not sure how this will fly after yesterday’s events, but here it is. The worst person in the country wants to grant himself clemency—because if you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself. Plus, everyone else thinks he’s a lunatic now. (Join the club, obsequious idiots.)

The New York Times:

President Trump has suggested to aides he wants to pardon himself in the final days of his presidency, according to two people with knowledge of the discussions, a move that would mark one of the most extraordinary and untested uses of presidential power in American history.

In several conversations since Election Day, Mr. Trump has told advisers that he is considering giving himself a pardon and, in other instances, asked whether he should and what the effect would be on him legally and politically, according to the two people. It was not clear whether he had broached the topic since he incited his supporters on Wednesday to march on the Capitol, where some stormed the building in a mob attack.

I would say that fat sack of garbage has a better chance of performing autofellatio on a Tilt-a-Whirl than successfully pardoning himself, but then what’s one more shattered norm? Then again, if you issue a pardon you’re pretty much admitting the recipient is guilty of something, aren’t you?

Mr. Trump has shown signs that his level of interest in pardoning himself goes beyond idle musings. He has long maintained he has the power to pardon himself, and his polling of aides’ views is typically a sign that he is preparing to follow through on his aims. He has also become increasingly convinced that his perceived enemies will use the levers of law enforcement to target him after he leaves office.

I can’t imagine this is legal, but then Donald Trump has never cared about the law, has he? He thinks he’s God, and over the past several years far too many people have come to agree with him.

But he’s not God. He’s the polar opposite of omniscient, and he wouldn’t give up a bag of Funyuns to save his people from perdition, much less allow himself to get crucified. 

Didn’t his followers figure out yesterday what a coward he is when he claimed he would march with them to the Capitol and then jumped in a limo instead, ostensibly to make it back to the White House in time for an urgent appointment with a box of Ho-Hos?

That wasn’t a tipoff?

Oh, and this is kinda shocking—and not at all surprising. Trump enjoyed watching the riots yesterday because, you know, he’s Trump.

As aides urged Mr. Trump to issue a strong condemnation on Wednesday and he rejected that advice, the White House counsel, Pat A. Cipollone, warned Mr. Trump that he could face legal exposure for the riot given that he had urged his supporters to march to the Capitol and “fight” beforehand, according to people briefed on the discussion. Mr. Trump had appeared to White House aides to be enjoying watching the scenes play out on television.

And now after four people are dead as a direct result of Donald Trump’s bruised ego, he’s thinking about giving himself a get-out-of-jail-free card?

Nuh-uh.

Twenty-fifth Amendment. Now.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!