When a new blockbuster movie comes out, the producers know that they're in trouble when the rave reviews they can put on their ads are all about the scenery, the costumes, and the theme song. When the critics don't mention the stars or the plot, you know you're in deep bovine excrement.
I got up at 9:15 am PDT, so I missed watching His Lowness perform various political acts of oral sex on Vlad the Imp live. But the compilation if his “greatest shits,” oops, I meant “greatest hits” was bad enough.And when the squeals of “outrage,” and “disappointment” coming from a bunch of GOP Senate doormats wasn't enough to cheer me up, I new I was in trouble. What I needed was a fresh perspective.
So, I set off on a quest for self enlightenment. If the infamous peddlers of “FAKE NEWS!” couldn't be counted on to present a fair and unbiased representation of what just went down, what were the bastions of conservative truth, decency, and moral fiber saying about Der Gropinfuror's latest conquest?
Turns out, as little as possible. Y'all owe me, I put on my water wings, and went snorkeling in the Trump media cesspool. And even in that benighted realm of sadistic leather fetish fantasy, Glorious Bleater has left them scrambling to find rays of bitter sunshine.
Mostly, what the Trump Ministry of Propaganda seems to be trying to do is to ignore the press conference as much as possible. Instead, they're trying to paint the disaster with a broader brush, say one about the size of a tractor trailer, and cherry picking the bare spots between all of the black paint.
I paid a visit to Steve Bannon's old stomping grounds, Breitbart. Their headline was a thing of beauty to behold, if you really aren't interested in the press conference. To quote, “Donald Trump Defends Summit With Vladimir Putin As 'Bold American Diplomacy'.” That's it. And if you were expecting a deep dive into Trump's slavish fluffing of Putin in front of the cameras, you were in for as much disappointment as GOP Senators. The first reference to the press conference at all was a half a dozen paragraphs in, and only noted that it was the first joint US-Russian presser since Bush Lite did one. The only direct Trump quote from the press conference was in the last paragraph, when Trump described Mueller's probe as “a disaster.” To get your news from Breitbart, you'd never even know that the two men appeared in front of microphones together.
OK, so maybe Breitbart was taking a lazy day today. But certainly a flaming fucktard like Alex Jones can find all kinds of rose petals to spread in front of Trump's feet for his victory lap on The Drudge Report, right? Wrong-o. The screaming banner headline there was “Putin Dominates in Helsinki Summit,” which, when you clicked on the headline took you to a filing lifted from the Daily Mail. And somebody at Drudge is gonna get shitcanned if Alex Jones ever risks getting a virus by visiting his own site, because the Daily Mail article was rather unflattering to Putin's Poodle. That was pretty much it for the in depth reporting from Helsinki from Drudge. Who knows, maybe Priceline was sold out of $49 fares to Helsinki.
But it's nice to know, that even in an uncertain media world, there is still one bastion of sanity and hard core journalistic reality, FOX News. Whose banner headline was “Bipartisan backlash: Trump triggers outrage with defiant news conference with Putin, as Dem's fume over Mueller criticism.” Under which the next article link was an opinion piece entitled “Losing Bigly? Putin eats Trump's lunch in shocking Helsinki summit.” Those were the only two main page coverage of the summit, although there were a scattering of subset pieces down the left side. But at a glance, none of them went into any specifics of Trump's disgraceful performance. Has the world gone mad?!?
Redstate, which never really drank the Trump kool-ade in the first place, is almost giddy with scorn and derision. My favorites were “Vladimir Putin Uses and Abuses President Trump in Helsinki,” and “Trump the traitor? Twitter Tempers Flare After Trump/Putin Press Conference.”Redstate alone, again a non Trump partisan conservative site, was the only one I saw that covered any aspect of the press conference in depth, and they blistered Trump for it.
This was stunning to me. When pandering online rags like Breitbart, Drudge Report, and even FOX News can't find something to praise, you know that the debacle is complete. Maybe even these sites, whose readers identify each other by the “God, Guts and Guns” bumper stickers on the back of their rattletrap pickups, know that there is a line that they can't cross, and that line is outright treason. The only thing they can do is to not cover it, and hope that their sheeple don't find out that Trump just jumped over the line like Michael Jordan finishing a slam dunk.
The wait is over! Volume two of the trilogy, President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange is now available. Amazon is whining about me crashing their site, but the hell with them, I ain't in this for their health. You can also find volume one, President Evil as well. And fear not, work on volume three is just beginning.
Cross posted on Politizoom.com