Is there anything more ironic than the “party of personal responsibility” nominating and electing Donald Trump? He accepts responsibility for nothing.
REPORTER: “You just said there are a tremendous number of ventilators that we have, but for weeks hospitals have been warning about a critical shortage that they say we are not prepared for, so why did it take so long to invoke the Defense Production Act?”
TRUMP: “You know, hospitals are supposed to have ventilators, too, and when we have thousands of ventilators it sounds like a lot, but this is a very unforeseen thing. Nobody ever thought of these numbers, nobody ever saw numbers like this, even with regard to testing. Normally we wouldn’t be doing testing, and they decided to do it. Very, very hard to ramp up. Now we’re getting highly sophisticated tests and it’s going very well, but nobody’s ever heard of testing in the kind of quantities that you’re talking about …
REPORTER: “But we knew for weeks we needed more ventilators, so why did it take so long?”
TRUMP: “Well, we knew, it depends. It depends on how it goes. Worst case, absolutely. Best case, not at all. So we’re going to have to see where it goes. But we are ordering thousands and thousand of ventilators, and they’re complex. These are complex machines, and but we’re ordering them. Does anybody have a — Mike, maybe you do. How many do we have?”
So, where to begin?
Hospitals are supposed to have ventilators, too? Damn you, hospitals! Damn you all to hell!
It was totally unforeseen? Well, not really. People have been worried for years that something exactly like this would happen. That’s why we had a pandemic response team … that Trump eliminated. That’s why we had a Predict program in place to detect diseases like this at their source. What? Trump 86’d that, too?
Very, very hard to ramp up testing? How did South Korea do it? Is South Korea a wealthier, more technologically sophisticated country than the United States?
What the fuck does this mean? “Well, we knew, it depends. It depends on how it goes. Worst case, absolutely. Best case, not at all.”
Finally, he gets pinned down with a question he can’t answer, so what does our tough, brave, redoubtable POTUS say? “Does anybody have a — Mike, maybe you do. How many do we have?” Yes, he passes the buck to the guy standing behind him with the thousand-mile stare. By the way, has anyone asked Pence where he goes during these reveries? I really can’t say where it is; I just know Jesus is there holding a kick-ass AR-15 and confiscating clean needles from heroin addicts.
So, anyway, that’s your president. He doesn’t know what’s going on — he just knows that whatever it is, it’s someone else’s fault.
Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.