Watching White House press conferences these days is like watching psych ward orderlies try to convince their patients not to eat live pigeons whole in the exercise yard.

Yesterday was no different.

After whining that President Obama enjoyed the “benefit” of 0 percent interest rates and two payroll tax cuts (you know, because his predecessor had left him with a smoldering crater where the economy used to be), Trump lit into NBC’s Peter Alexander for pointing out Trump’s glaring hypocrisy with regard to Joe Biden. Noting that Trump had slammed Biden over his perceived gaffes, Alexander pointed out that Trump “said that the mass shooting happened in Toledo, when it happened in Dayton.”

He might as well have dumped an Igloo cooler full of bullet ants into Trump’s boxers.

Trump’s less-than-measured response?

“This guy is the most biased reporter, NBC. You know I made a lot of money for NBC with The Apprentice, and I used to like them, but they are the most biased. Peter is such a biased … he should be able to ask a question, same question, in a better way. You are so obviously biased, and that’s why the public has no confidence in the media.”

Then, after claiming, without any reference to anything resembling consensus reality, that “Joe Biden doesn’t have it. Let me just tell you about Joe Biden. Joe Biden doesn’t have it,” Trump tore into The New York Times, claiming the 168-year-old newspaper exists only because of him:

“Well, I think The New York Times now has totally lost credibility. They’ve given up on the Russian collusion delusion, and now what they’re doing is they’re trying the racist deal, and that’s not going to work because I am the least racist person ever to serve in office, okay? I am the least racist person. But The New York Times, they’re trying everything they can. It is a totally dishonest newspaper, it’s a paper that really has lost tremendous credibility.”

Do I have to point out that Trump accused a newspaper of having no credibility just seconds after saying he — Donald “Very Fine People on Both Sides” Trump — is the least racist person ever to serve in office? No? Okay, then I won’t.

Oh, but he wasn’t done. Not by a damn sight.

“In six years, when I’m not here, The New York Times goes out of business very quickly. And you know who else goes out? Like NBC News. NBC News has less credibility in my opinion, with guys like you, than CNN. I think CNN has more credibility than NBC News. [Crosstalk] Did you hear what I said? I said you have more credibility than this guy. Go ahead. And that’s not saying much … because I don’t think you have very much credibility. But I will tell you this: NBC, I think, has less credibility than CNN. That’s not saying much, but that’s the way I feel.”

Got it? And as if to prove irony is long dead and mouldering in the grave, a reporter asked Trump about his focus on mental health issues:

“Yeah, mental health. Very important.”

And … scene.

You can watch the entire performance art piece here.


Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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