Trump declares his southern border wall should resemble Red Dawn's

Trump announces at a Pittsburgh shale conference that his wall will be built in Colorado. Senator Patrick Leahy observes that Trump could do it with a SharpieTM.

More Trump lies in yet another quasi-campaign speech because he’s fracked.

  • Trump begins his speech at the shale conference in Pennsylvania with a multi-sir story about football coach Barry Switzer and oil and gas businessman Harold Hamm. 
  • “You have a great ice hockey team, too,” Trump says of Pittsburgh, praising Sidney Crosby and this “great sports place.” He then reads praise for Pennsylvania’s energy development for a moment, then immediately begins ad-lib-criticizing New York state’s energy and tax policies. 
  • Trump is talking about how he won Ohio and West Virginia. 
  • Trump praises the work of Energy Secretary Rick Perry. He says Perry was “nasty” during the Republican primary but then became very nice. 
  • Trump is now criticizing the impeachment push, saying, “I have witch hunts every week. I say, what’s the witch hunt this week?” He calls his opponents “nasty” people. 
  • Trump falsely says Canada has already approved the USMCA (“new NAFTA” in Canadianese). Unlike Mexico, it has not voted yet. Trump goes back and forth between correctness and incorrectness on this. 
  • At some length, Trump praises Rep. Guy Reschenthaler for getting elected despite being named Guy Reschenthaler. 
  • To people apparently saying “four more years,” Trump advises them to drive the media “crazy” and say “16 more years.” 
  • Trump tells a sir story about how “almost all” of the people attending his event on a Waters of the US executive order were crying. He has previously said “half of them” were crying. There is video. None of them were crying.

  • Trump’s vague talk of some sort of coal resurgence is not borne out by any kind of data. (Fox News headline last month: “Coal industry continues sharp decline despite Trump’s promised revival.”) Here’s the jobs chart.

  • “Don’t hurt ’em. Don’t hurt ’em, please. They don’t know they’re dealing with very tough people in this room,” Trump says after a protest interruption. “They don’t know who they’re dealing with! They don’t know who they’re dealing with!…Go home to mom.” 

    • Trump complains that it took just “nine months” to build the Empire State Building but you can’t do that anymore. Construction took 13 months. This is the 5th time he’s made a false claim about the construction of the Empire State Building. 
    • Trump perpetually accuses the Obama administration of waging a “war” on American energy, then boasts that the US became the top energy producer in the world under Trump. The US took the #1 spot in Obama’s first term, then kept increasing production.

    • Trump is telling his usual vague story about how somebody should have built a road straight but instead made it curvy for enviro reasons and it took forever. “They circled the nesting of things you want to save, you want to help, but you also have to — worry about ourselves.” 
    • “You’ll never have another president like me,” Trump says, it seems specifically about his regulatory and energy policies. “That’s for sure.” 
    • Trump says the Cameron LNG facility he visited in Louisiana was a “dead project, and I had it approved almost immediately.” It got its approvals under the Obama administration. The company says this on its website.

    • Trump falsely says Hillary Clinton had said the trade agreement with South Korea would produce 250,000 American jobs (“I remember her saying”). Obama had said that the deal would “support at least 70,000 American jobs.” 
    • Trump has begun performatively claiming that he’s being careful with his numbers to avoid the wrath of the media and fact checkers, even as he is not being at all careful. “With the fake news, I have to be very conservative. Otherwise, they’ll say, ‘He didn’t tell the truth.'” 

    • Trump after claiming the US is “respected again”: “We’re not laughed at. And it’s getting more and more that way.” 
    • Trump keeps saying there have been 10,000 more factories opened under him. There’s a chance this is true, but I don’t know where he got the number. If anyone knows, please feel free to let me know. 
    • Trump is now slamming “some guy named Conor Lamb,” a local Democratic congressman, for speaking nicely about him but then not voting with him. 
    • Trump on how Democrats stick together: “They don’t have a Mitt Romney in their midst.” 
    • Trump says he thinks he’s going to win New Mexico because of how popular he says his immigration policy is there. 
    • Trump repeats his imaginary 94% or 95% Republican approval rating. This official speech is like a Trump rally multiplied by 0.65. 

  • Alert: The president said a couple minutes ago, “We’re building a wall in Colorado. We’re building a beautiful wall. A big one that really works.” 

  • Trump was listing actual-border states in which he said he is building the wall (he has not added any miles where barriers didn’t exist before). He added that he is NOT building a wall in Kansas but they will reap the benefits.
  • Trump is telling his story about how kings, queens, prime ministers and dictators all come in and congratulate him on the greatness of the economy. He adds that dictators do not want to be known as dictators. He then adds, “Actually, some do.” He then says that they don’t. 
  • The unemployment rate is at the lowest level in just under 50 years. Trump usually makes it “51 years.” Today he made it “more than 51 years.” 
  • Trump is slamming “zealots” who oppose shale energy. He’s mostly criticizing Democrats but also the European Union for supposedly trying to tell the US what to do. “We should be telling them how to do it,” he says, based on how good the economy is. 
  • Trump has concluded. He said the usual things and told the usual lies, except for his declaration that he is building his border wall in Colorado, which was new. 

The United States has gradually become strategically isolated after several European nations (except the United Kingdom) withdraw from NATO. At the same time, the Soviet Union and its Warsaw Pact partners aggressively expand their sphere of influence. In addition, the Ukrainian wheat harvest fails while a communist coup d’etat occurs in Mexico.

wolverines2.png

On a September morning, in the small town of Calumet, Colorado, a local high school teacher pauses when he sees Soviet paratroopers landing in a nearby field. The paratroopers open fire when the teacher confronts them. Pandemonium follows as students flee amid heavy gunfire. In downtown Calumet, Cuban and Soviet troops are trying to impose order after a hasty occupation

[…]

The Wolverines find a downed American pilot, Lt. Col. Andrew Tanner, who informs them of the current state of the war: several American cities, including Washington, D.C., were destroyed by nuclear strikes; the Strategic Air Command was crippled by Cuban saboteurs; and paratroopers were dropped from fake commercial airliners to seize key positions in preparation for subsequent assaults via Mexico and Alaska.

en.m.wikipedia.org/…