Trump declares Fox News unwatchable

Oh, Fox News, you’ve changed. You are not the network I married.

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Because Fox News tries to maintain at least some semblance of credibility — by, for instance, continuing to employ Chris Wallace, who humiliated Trump during their recent interview by asking him questions relating to his, you know, job — Trump can no longer trust the network. Unless they want to break the glass on the Hannity clones that have been floating in viscous fluid underneath Murdoch Manor for the past several years, Trump may just have to turn to OANN on a permanent basis. OANN, of course, is the effervescently pro-Trump cable network that would have made Baghdad Bob shit his drawers in bewilderment. 

Trump loves the network … because of this:

Yeah, that’s a level of sycophancy that would embarrass Caligula’s bathtub attendant. 

But Fox has had the temerity to occasionally interview Democrats and to release polls that show Trump badly trailing Joe Biden. They’re obviously fake polls, of course … coming from the most reliably right-wing media outlet of the past two decades.



And Trump made Fox, you see. They’ve been in business for 23 years now, but … well, I’ll let you figure that one out on your own.

It’s hard to see lovers squabble and, ultimately, break up. Hopefully this can be a conscious uncoupling rather than an acrimonious split.

Ha ha ha!

Sometimes I crack myself up.

UPDATE: It gets better. Trump accidentally tagged an HVAC company called Air Force One in his original tweet. h/t DGT

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Because no one is more stable-geniusy than DJT.

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!