Donald Trump desperately needs people to believe the fantasy that everything will be back to normal (without those commie masks) before November 3. He’s been playing a game of three-card monte with the vaccine for months. In fact, not only will you be immune from the coronavirus before the election thanks to Donald Trump’s mighty vaporware vaccine, you’ll also make a fortune in real estate!
But the usual maxim applies: If Donald Trump says something and someone else says something different, you always believe the other person. Always. I can’t think of a single exception to this rule.
So, pop quiz: Whom do you believe? Donald Trump or CDC Director Robert Redfield, who (inconveniently for — and unlike — Trump) appears to have at least a modicum of shame.
Yup, you guessed it.
You’ve learned a valuable lesson, Grasshopper.
REPORTER: “Earlier today Dr. Redfield confirmed that it looked like November, December the first doses would be able to be distributed. But then he said the vaccine for the general public likely would not be available until probably next summer, maybe even early fall. Are you comfortable with that timeline?”
TRUMP: “No, I think he made a mistake when he said that. It’s just incorrect information, and I called him, and he didn’t tell me that, and I think he got the message maybe confused, maybe it was stated incorrectly. No, we’re ready to go immediately as the vaccine is announced, and it could be announced in October, it could be announced a little bit after October, but once we go we’re ready. As you know Pfizer is making this, they’re taking a tremendous financial risk and they’re spending billions of dollars on actually making this vaccine. They’re in a stage where they’re actually making it because they feel very confident as to the results. They’ll be announcing their results fairly soon. And, no, he’s, uh, that’s incorrect information.”
REPORTER: “He was clear in the way he said it.”
TRUMP: “Well, I think so, but I don’t think he means that. … When he said it, I believe he was confused.”
So the guy who suggested we should look into injecting disinfectant into our bodies, wants to bring back asbestos, thinks windmill cancer is a clear and present danger, and whose administration has been brazenly manipulating COVID-19 reports thinks the CDC director is “confused.”
And the fact that Trump needs people to believe that help is on the way before Joe Biden has a chance to usurp his tweetin’ toilet? Yeah, pay no attention to that.
The Great and Powerful Ooze has spoken!
Oh, lord, when is this going to be over? I’m so fucking tired. Honestly.
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