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Trump coins two new awesome words: 'infantroopen' and 'lawmurkers'

2 min read
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Supposedly, Donald Trump doesn’t drink. But I do — and let me tell you from experience, this is at least four white Russians into the kind of bender the ancient Greeks used to write epic poems about.

If this dude isn’t actually well into his cups here, someone needs to check his head for termites, posthaste.

Grab another piping hot mug of covfefe and enjoy:

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I kept that first video on a loop for a little too long, and I think I summoned Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies.

It’s like he’s getting an Adderall enema as he stands there. 

“Ivanka, honey, could you run down to the pharmacy for me?”

Thank God he’s a bona fide stable genius or I might start to worry about the future of our country.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

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