Trump coins two new awesome words: 'infantroopen' and 'lawmurkers'

Supposedly, Donald Trump doesn’t drink. But I do — and let me tell you from experience, this is at least four white Russians into the kind of bender the ancient Greeks used to write epic poems about.

If this dude isn’t actually well into his cups here, someone needs to check his head for termites, posthaste.

Grab another piping hot mug of covfefe and enjoy:

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I kept that first video on a loop for a little too long, and I think I summoned Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies.

It’s like he’s getting an Adderall enema as he stands there. 

“Ivanka, honey, could you run down to the pharmacy for me?”

Thank God he’s a bona fide stable genius or I might start to worry about the future of our country.

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