Trump claims he's seen piles of dead bald eagles under windmills

I guess they died of cancer.

I suppose this is an apt metaphor for what’s happening in our country these days, but for some reason I don’t think it’s true. Call me crazy.

During another one of his “unique” rallies yesterday — this one in Louisiana — the actual president of the United States said this to a group of natural gas workers about the Green New Deal:

“Under that deal, everybody in this room gets fired. All of the thousands of guys and women standing on these buildings get fired, they go home. Because under the Green New Deal, they don’t like clean, beautiful natural gas. They don’t like anything. They don’t know what they like.”

Or they’ll all be retrained for modern, high-paying clean-energy jobs, but why split hairs?

Anyway, he saved the best for last:

“You want to see a bird cemetery? Go under a windmill sometime. You will see the saddest, you got every type of bird. You know, in California you go to jail for five years if you kill a bald eagle. You go under a windmill, you see them all over the place. Not a good situation.”

I don’t want to see a bird cemetery, but thanks for asking. And we’re also supposed to believe Trump has ever toured a windmill farm, which in itself seems impossible. And for some reason I’m skeptical that he saw bald eagles stacked up like cordwood under one of the windmills he’s always hated and never mentioned it until now. You’d think he’d find time to tweet about that somewhere between “NO COLLUSION!” and “Mika’s face was bleeding from a facelift as she tried to force her way into Mar-a-Lago on New Year’s Eve.”

And then for good measure, Trump resurrected one of his old comedy bits:

“But that’s what they were counting on, wind. And when the wind doesn’t blow, you don’t watch television that night. Your wife said, ‘What the hell did you me into with this Green New Deal, Charlie?’”

Yup, that’s the Green New Deal, all right. You nailed it. The jig is up. Our plan to keep real, fossil fuel-burning Americans from watching Lou Dobbs and Duck Dynasty was foiled again by the smartest man on the planet.

Once again, Donald Trump is the Harlem Globetrotters and we liberals are just a bunch of sad-sack Washington Generals.

We’ll get you one of these days, Trump!

Harumph!

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